Monday, October 24, 2011

So I think I'm stressed...

Strange dream last night. I was getting ready to bed down on a thin air mattress in a tent I was sharing with another girl. We were on some military exercise. I noticed two rifles laid out on a little white coffee table on one side of the tent, so I guessed our exercise would involve some shooting on the range. I was thinking about how long it had been since I’d last handled a rifle and wondered if I remembered all the protocol.

At the next point in the dream I was in that odd omnipresent state often comes in dream states – where I could see myself but also see beyond where I was. I saw people coming down some hall to our room (it was now a room) and I knew they were coming to attack us. I tried to grab a rifle just as they burst through the door, but I seized the wrong end and fumbled with it. I also wasn’t sure if this was a real attack or some part of an exercise, so I didn’t really think I should shoot anyway.

I was huddled on the bed with my roommate and the attackers were leaning over us. One pointed her weapon at me and said ‘pow’ – so I knew that this wasn’t real. But at the same time, they were rather rough with us and I felt annoyed. I was thinking that this wasn’t much fun and after this weekend I was going to go back to my unit and quit the military. I saw a knife and made a half-hearted lunge for it – not knowing what I should do even if I did manage to grab it. How do you fight if you don’t know the rules? How do you defend yourself when you’re not sure if the attack is real?

We were kidnapped and herded down the hall with several other girls. I now figured that the exercise we had come on was to be about how to survive in some sort of P.O.W. environment. This wasn’t what I had bargained for and I was not impressed – but there didn’t seem much to do beside’s play along.

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