Monday, October 31, 2005

first posting.... why write?

This is the first time I have tried blogging and I am sure I am brought to it as many others are - a desire to find new ways to express myself. What is this need writers have to get other people to read their opinions? Is it narcissism or complete lack of self confidence?

A friend once told me she loved to write, but only when she directing it to someone. She had a long-distance relationship and loved the elaborate letters and emails she would compose. But she didn't see the point in putting in all that effort if no she cared about would read it.

So by writing to the void - am I so vain as to think people who don't even know me will care about what I have to say? Am I so insecure that I need my thoughts printed/posted to feel validated?

I still haven't figured it out.

Journaling is a tool to self-awareness, to working through tough times... Often when I journal I purposefully try to ignore the inner editor who wants to shape and improve my phrases - the point here is simply to vent, to complain - to express all the selfish, petty thoughts I need to get out of my system but don't actually want anyone else to know. Release the dark side... let the inner child throw a tantrum.

Would it be therapeutic / humbling / freeing to put such childish journals out to the public? Should I be inviting others to gaze at my own navel? Doubtful -you would all just see it for the sad receptacle of lint it is.

That said, there is something exciting about offering my thoughts to the public... opening myself up for criticism, disagreement... or maybe even approval.

This blog will hopefully be a motivation for me to write - to express... to put to words all the thoughts, emotions, reactions, musings that mull around in my head.

Of course, I would love feedback. You know, to not completely be writing into the void...