Sunday, May 08, 2011

Mother and daughter

I celebrated my second mothers’ day today, having been a mother for just a little over two years. The occasion sort of snuck up on me and I must admit that I was a little negligent in getting something to my own mother on time – which I trust will be understood as having everything to do with my busy week and overloaded brain and nothing to do with a lack of love and respect.

It’s a privileged position to be able to celebrate today as both a mother and a daughter – even if the celebration with my mom is over a skype call and the promise of a package in the mail, and even if my daughter has no concept of the occasion. Just having both of them in my life makes me truly blessed.

I like looking at pictures of the two of them – the connection between them is apparent, as is the physical resemblance. A lot of people have told me my daughter looks like me, but I still don’t see it – what I do see is how much she takes after my mom, especially in profile and especially their noses!

I’ve also become aware as I watch my mom with Miya, of the many ways mom shaped me as a mother. The way my mom reads books to Miya, asks her questions, engages with her – it’s almost surreal to see because I know that I do the same things. And yet these are not things that I consciously learned from her – I doubt that I could even recall the memories of how she read to me when I was 2 – but in some part of my brain those must have been retained because I see myself in her mirror and the reflection is familiar and comforting.

So today on mothers’ day I haven’t been thinking so much about what it means to be a mother, or even, perhaps, as much as I should on all that is lovely about my own – instead I have been very aware of my position between the two - my arms stretching out to my roots and to my future, holding two precious relationships in my hands.

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