But today I think I have managed to get the important things done: I bought a new top to wear and got a hair cut (not thrilled about it, but at least I don’t look quite so shaggy). Oh yes, I also prepared my speaking notes and a hand-out for people who will attend (and who might they be? I have no idea – apart from knowing that my committee and my husband will be there. Perhaps that will be it.)
I’ve also spent some time preparing answers to the questions I’d been given in advance. I wonder if by having the questions beforehand the expectations are going to be higher. It’s like a take-home exam versus an in-class one. I remember when I naively thought that a take-home would be less work – until I realized that I ended up writing an exam for 20 hours as opposed to 3. Now I say give me an in-class exam any day, although I do apologize for my handwriting which after two hours becomes an illegible scrawl.
So do I feel ready for tomorrow? I guess so. Don’t really have a choice, which is probably just as well. Sometimes I find that the less time I have to prepare, the less time I have to be nervous. I used to get so nervous about giving presentations when I was an undergrad – then I discovered that if I reached a certain point of stress , I would care more about simply getting it done than about how I would do. This would get rid of my nervousness (no time for such foolishness!) and I would actually end up doing better on my presentation. Fight of flight.
And so it is just as well that I go in to tomorrow with only a modicum of preparation. But on the other hand, I have now been researching this topic for 3 years and I am quite sure that I will know it better than anyone who will be in that room.