She speaks

After a long period of contemplative silence, Miya has stepped forth and begun to share her message with the world.

It is a message of identification - baby, dog, duck, pea, bird, ball, milk...

And of shared communication - neigh, baa, meow, roar, hoot...

And of love - 'hug' is a popular word often accompanied by a demonstration.

Sometimes she engages her audience by making them guess at her intent. 'Duck', for example might mean truck, stuck, a yellow bird, an ostrich, or, of course, a duck.

Perhaps acknowledging her parents' initial indecision over her name, she calls herself both Miya and Maya. Daddy she says often and with varying degrees of insistence, sometimes adding a yay at the end, especially at the end of the day as she anticipates his return from work. "Daddy-yay!" And for her mom she alternates between Momma and Mommy and proudly identifies various objects around the house as belonging to either 'Mommy' or 'Daddy'.

Miya promises to continue to share her message with those around her, engaging passing people, dogs, squirrels, cats and birds with an enthusiastic 'hi'. We look forward to hearing what she has to say next.

A is for Apple

Big A, little a, what begins with A?

Adorable apple-eater, A a A

Big M, little m, what begins with M?

Miya munching merrily, M m M

once more appalled

I haven't watched much television or seen many movies in the past few months - time is too precious or I'm just too tired in the evenings. So this last week when I found the time to watch a couple of romantic comedies, I thought I would find them mildly amusing, a pleasant way to relax. Instead, I find myself wanting to rant and rave.

Maybe it's because I'm a mother now. Maybe it's that I that I'm less inured to Hollywood drivel having separated myself for awhile. Maybe I just think too much. But seriously, the way women are portrayed in these movies drives me mad!

The first I watched was an oldie (1998) - I'd seen it before and remembered being mildly offended by the ending. You've Got Mail is in many ways your run-of-the-mill rom com: couple meets but has apparently insurmountable barriers and spend much of the movie hating each other, only to realize at the end that they really love each other after all. In this case the barrier is that the guy (Tom Hanks) is putting the girl (Meg Ryan) out of business. What's so infuriating in this case is that in the end, when she decides she really loves him after all, no mention is made of the fact that he ruined her professional life. Ok, there is a suggestion that since losing her business (a children's book shop) she has taken up writing and is about to be published. But this is such a passing comment (reach for the popcorn and you might miss it) so as to be apparently insignificant. Lesson here, my professional life may be ruined but, the guy who seemed like a jerk really loves me so that is all I need.

At least You've Got Mail had some redeeming qualities - I'm a sucker for the ever-adorable Meg Ryan and there was a cute hidden-identity theme. But the second movie I watched - The Ugly Truth - had no such redeeming qualities. In this movie the woman (Katherine Heigle) starts off strong. We see her as a tv producer who runs the show, smooths egos, calms worries and stares chaos in the face. Intro the guy - super alpha-male misogynist (Gerard Butler) and presto, she turns into a brainless, desperate child who lets him reconstruct her image (telling her to perk up her boobs, put extensions in her hair so a guy "has something to grab" etc). Completely offensive. I won't even bother to explain the rest. Obviously, being a predictable rom com the oddly-matched couple get together at the end. And the lesson in this one is that successful women are really in need of a domineering man to turn them stupid and slutty - and only then will they be fulfilled and truly happy. Absolutely appalling.

What makes these movies all the more frustrating and perplexing to me is that they are written by women. And it's not just these two, thinking about mainstream movies, (not some indie movies which are almost always refreshing exceptions) women are immature characters who are just waiting for a man to come and direct them, teach them, control them (i.e. The Proposal). Or they may be the quirky ingenue who role is simply to heal, redeem, comfort or cheer the guy (i.e. Garden State, Elisabethtown). Often she sacrifices herself for the guy (i.e. Autumn in New York, A Walk to Remember), saving him through her death. Again, appalling.

I'd like to think I'm going to raise my daughter in a world where women and men are equal, but if listening to the news (i.e. threatened stoning of Sakineh Mohammadi Ashtiani) isn't enough to show me how far we have yet to go, 'relaxing' with a movie is certainly not going to ease my concerns.

Mother's Day

It's an amazing privilege to get to celebrate Mother's Day - not only because I am grateful to have a wonderful mother, but also because I am truly blessed to be a mother myself.

I'd heard it said that one can never understand the love a mother feels for her child until she has a child, and I know now how true this is.

Mother's Day isn't only a celebration of mothers, it's also a celebration of Grandmothers.

In April Miya got to see both her Grandma Bev and her Ajji (Grandma) Padma. Lots of love, cuddles and kisses - and not to mention a fair number of new toys and outfits! A very lucky little girl!

Dorris da Door Worm

Miya has many adorable toys. Plush teddies, a cuddly Eeyore, stuffed animals and soft blankets. So far, most of these have received only a passing interest. The teddy introduced to Miya as a bedtime 'lovey' is more likely to be bashed against the crib rails than to be cuddled with.

Indeed, Miya has generally been quite indifferent to all her soft toys - that is, until she met Dorris.

Dorris actually isn't even a toy. She is a door worm - something her mother knitted with scraps of yarn to block the light and noise at the big gap under Miya's bedroom door.

But Dorris da Door Worm does not have to spend her days alone on the floor. One of Miya's favourite past-times is to take Dorris on walk-abouts around the house. She holds Dorris up and walks a ways, drops her, stoops and picks her up, holds her high and takes a few more steps, drops her, picks her up, takes a few more steps.... you get the picture. Apparently this is widely entertaining. Both Dorris and Miya are able to do this for great lengths of times, multiple times a day, every day of the week.

Never underestimate the potential of a door worm.

Sleepy, sick baby

Poor little Miya has her first real nasty cold. Her cute little nose has become a spout of runny snot. Her thick, wet coughs frighten the cats.

On Friday I had to go in to work for a meeting, so V came home early to look after her. She hadn't been able to nap well during the day due to her congestion and coughs, so by 4:30 she was tuckered out. Our little baby, who is usually rather particular about how and when she naps, fell asleep in her daddy's arms.

I came home to a quiet house. Well, not entirely quiet - poor congested baby with her little snores.

It's obviously quite exhausting having a cold when you're only 9 months old.

there's just something about tags

Parents often make mistakes when selecting toys for their children. They look for bright colours, cutes faces and funny sounds.

But the most important part of a toy is how it tastes and feels in the mouth.

And the second most important part is the tag. Nothing beats a nice long tag. Really good toys even have several of them.

Miya takes her tag play very seriously and puts a lot of concentration in it. She usually holds the toy in her left hand while the fingers on her right hand grasp, tug, flip and twist the tag.

After a few minutes of this the tag is usually brought to the mouth for the compulsory taste-check. Then it is tossed to side the search for the next tag begins.

so this is love

When Miya was first born I didn't feel love for her, at least not in the way that I had ever felt love for someone before. What I did feel was fiercely protective and absolutely amazed. I marveled at her and everything she did, from her tiny sneezes to the strong grip in her little fingers. I even marveled that she was breathing.

And while it may not have felt like love, I have never been so able or willing to sacrifice myself for someone before. In the first few weeks breastfeeding was difficult; my breasts were raw and bleeding. Each time she fed I gritted my teeth and curled my toes with pain. But she wanted my breast and I wanted to give it to her. When she couldn't settle I walked countless circles in our house, holding her little body in my arms as I sang to comfort and soothe her. When she would cry in the night, no matter what the hour or how tired I was, I responded to her.

Most of the people in my life whom I love, I love by choice. With my daughter, there is no choice. I have been committed to her since the first time I heard her heart beating inside me. With other people I wait to see if we will get along. But Miya and I get along, not always smoothly and not always without misunderstandings. But from dawn to dusk to broken nights, we get along together, moving in a dance that I am only just learning the steps for.

I don't love her for what she says or does. Yet at the same time I love the little sounds she makes, the way she experiments with her voice. And I love the little things she does - the way she chews on her toes when lying on the change table, the way she presses her cheek against mine when I pick her up after a nap, the way she tilts back her head to look up and me and give me a gummy grin...

I have never loved like this before. Because I do, because I can, and because I will, I feel so incredibly grateful.

You are what you eat

Miya is working on a new look. It involves mixing a bit of cereal with some fruit or vegetable and then applying liberally to the face, hair, neck, hands and arms. For an extra flair she will sometimes dab it on her eyelashes. Who needs mascara when you have sweet potatoes?

Miya is also happy to share her fashionable accessories with our cats. It did not take long for Bogey and Bacall to realize that by hanging out under the high chair at mealtimes they get drops of cereal and the occasional spoon to lick. They also often come away sporting Miya's style with gobs of cereal on their fur and whiskers.

Thus far Miya has been generally preventing from taking her fashion to the streets as her outmoded mother usually wipes away each application before taking her daughter outside. But if you look closely you can usually find traces (hint: check behind the ears).

teddybear ears

The problem with not being able to dress yourself is that other people get to choose your clothes for you.

Miya has the additional indignity of having a mother who also likes to knit for her.

So it is that as the weather turns colder, Miya finds herself being carted outside with shoes that make her feet look humongous (her mother says she'll grow into them) and a hat that gives her teddybear ears.

finally a real meal!

Miya's been working hard to convince her parents she's ready to spice up her diet. Sure, breastmilk is great, but a little variety from time to time would be nice.

To prove her intent, she's been reaching for their food and grabbing at coffee mugs, glasses of water, spoons, ... anything to get the message across that this baby is ready to mix things up a bit.

So finally they gave in and on Oct 17th let her try some rice cereal.

First her mom put a little on her finger to see how the taste would be received.

"More!" Miya bellowed. And com'on, give me a real bite.

Now that's more like it! Something I can really sink my gums into.

You know, this stuff is pretty good!

Now what's for dessert?

trip to Saskatoon

In September, Miya took her first plane trip - flying from Ottawa to Saskatoon. She was rather concerned about hurtling through thin air in a metal tube miles above ground, but soon resigned herself to the new state of affairs, especially when she realized that no matter the altitude, she could still nurse.

She met her 100 year-old Great-Grandma - a beautiful woman and whiz at Scrabble.

Got reacquainted with her doting Grandma - who gave her clothes and toys and lots of cuddles.

Hung out with her Auntie who introduced her to philosopher puppets.

And even met her little cousin - who very gently, and proudly, held her on his lap.

A few short days later was in the Saskatoon Airport waiting to catch a flight back home. What a busy week!

jolly jumping

Sure, walking would be fun. But there are still a few balance issues to iron out. So in the meantime...
Miya points out that jumping can be pretty swell.

You get to be upright without having to worry about falling over.

You can stomp your feet and kick around.

You can even spin in circles.

This really is something to celebrate.

Miya thinks she could do this for hours...

Until she realizes that no matter how much she kicks and steps, she always ends up in the same spot.

And that can be a bit of a drag.

playdates in the park

To her father's chagrin, Miya has decided she is old enough to date. She's even seeing an older boy (well, older by a week). They were spotted last week in a local park, sharing a blanket under the trees. They tried to hide under their big hats, but we knew.

Miya has admitted though that this relationship is not without its challenges. While she is eager to engage her young friend in conversation, he is easily distracted by toys and generally does not respond.

Additionally, Miya noted they find it embarrasing to always have to bring their mothers along, seeing as they are not quite ambulatory yet.

So sometimes, even when on a date, Miya chooses to spend some time just by herself, hanging out in the swing.

finger play

So many toys designed for babies! This neighbourhood is lousy with baby boutiques and they all have adorable little toys for babies and children - fluffy, noisy, wooden, plastic, knitted, woven... infinite choices.

But Miya isn't buying it.

Sure bouncy tulip man makes lying on the change table a lot more fun. And Sophie can be entertaining, for a few minutes.
But Miya would generally rather talk at her toys than play with them.

And besides, the best things to play with - and certainly the most fun to put in her mouth - are her fingers.

household disruptions

When we bought our house in 2006 we were assured the basement never leaked. But this spring, when we began taking the fake-wood paneling and Styrofoam insulation off the walls, we found some moisture. It wasn't pouring in, but the walls were definitely damp.
So we brought in some foundation repair contractors to take a look. Most of them told us the same thing - we'd need to excavate the exterior and wrap the foundation in a moisture barrier. Turns out our house was built before such things were required.
This in itself was a big, and expensive, proposal. But since we plan to finish the basement it seemed foolish to frame walls which we knew were damaged. We felt we had little choice but to bite the bullet and sign up to get our two walls excavated and covered.
We went with a company that came recommended - I'll call them Mr. F.
After they dug up about 40 feet around our north-west corner, the company said we had bigger issues than simple moisture leakage. What looks to us like a small gap in the mortar is to them a problem requiring the removal and repair of 15 feet of foundation.
The result is that for almost four months we've had a pit around our house. Mr. F. dithers and stalls - waiting for various engineering reports, crew availability etc. And we're been locked into a contract that doubled from its initial quote.
It's been an exceptionally rainy summer - which understandably slows construction work. But this has also led to a very wet basement here as water leaks in under the foundation and through the exposed cinder-block wall.

And if the pit around our house wasn't enough of a disruption, at the end of July we got robbed. Someone broke into our house and took most of our electronics - computers, recorders, camera, cds and a few other things. They ransacked the bedroom dressers and the dining room buffet, but luckily didn't spend much time looking elsewhere.
Oddly, the also stole one of our cloth diapers and the dirty diaper bag.

So while having a baby is in and of itself quite a significant disruption to a home - we've been given a few extra. But perhaps it's the maternal hormones racing around my body that help keep things in perspective - we're ok, our daughter is healthy and happy. That's what really matters. The rest is just inconvenience.

our baby's Baby Bjorn

Since becoming rather constrained in the wrap, Miya is stepping out in a new style.

Kindly passed on to us from another family, the Baby Bjorn is perfect for Miya's 3 month size.

She loves that she can look around - and often gives beaming smiles to people she meets. She also seems to like that the cloth is just the right height to gum on - yum, yum, nothing beats the taste of a Baby Bjorn.

walking in Westboro

Nearly everyday I take my daughter for a walk. For her first month, I used to wrap her up and carry her against my body. The rhythm of my footsteps, the sway of movement would inevitably put her to sleep.

Now, as she is older and heavier, I lay her in the stroller and push her all around the neighbourhood. Sometimes I wonder if there is any street in a 3 km radius of our house that I have not yet covered.

Yet even though the scenery may feel repetitive at times, I constantly feel fortunate to live in such a lovely part of town.

We live in an old neighbourhood, less than two kilometres from the river which separates Ontario from Quebec. Many of the houses around here, especially those closer to the river, used to be cottages. However, as the city expanded and this neighbourhood grew popular, many have been renovated and upgraded. Indeed, to walk around this area is to constantly pass construction sites, most of which are additions being added to old houses.

I also pass cafés and restaurants, boutique shops, lovingly tended gardens and many parks. Often I go down to the river where the breeze off the water is refreshing and urban noise is replaced with songs of nature.

Miya peers out from the stroller, captivated by the play of sunlight and wind in the trees. She'll nod off to sleep; I'll slow my step and lazily drift through another summer afternoon.

mon amie Sophie

This year, all the cool babies in Ottawa have Sophie, the French giraffe. And of course, Miya did not want to be the only one at the well-baby group without the cute little teething toy.

Sophie is popular with parents because she is made from natural rubber and decorated with non-toxic paint. She's popular with babies since she is soft and light to hold and her feet and face are just the right size for their mouths.


Although tulip man is still Miya's favourite toy, Sophie is a pretty big hit. Not only does she squeak when squeezed, she also speaks French and sings French children songs. Miya, in turn, bestows beaming smiles at her little French friend (which unfortunately are very hard to catch with the camera).



Sophie is also quite a forward little animal, always encouraging Miya to touch and hold her. But this is a developing skill for Miya, so Sophie is often dropped or awkwardly dangled, but she doesn't seem to mind. C'est un jouet très amicable.

Ottawa's youngest marathoner

With help from her dad, Miya recently began training for Ottawa's busy marathon season.

Miya shows promising form, despite requiring some assistance.

Her exclusive breast milk diet, though unusual in marathon runners, obviously has some benefits as her strength and level of fitness is superb.

Established marathoners are rumored to be concerned about this new challenger.