A dog enters the room and chases its tail, then looks expectantly at the people present.
R: “What do dogs think about elevators? You walk into a machine. The doors close. The doors open. The entire world changes.”
V: “That is pretty much the same experience M had at the museum this morning. She walked into the elevator, the doors open on another floor. She has no concept of that.”
R: “Most of the close buttons don’t work anymore. They’ve been disabled.”
V: “Some do. Some do.”
R: “Insightful.”
R exits stage right.
Off stage a muted conversation is heard between R and L. Quiet laughter.
Enter L from the stage left.
V to L: “By the way, don’t say anything. She will just transcribe what you say and post in on the internet.”
L spots a foam roller in the corner L: “Ooh, foam roller”
V: “Yes, I use it for my IT band.”
L: “Exactly.”
L uses the foam roller to stretch. V checks what his wife is doing.
V: “This is the lamest blog I’ve ever seen. Look, she’s doing it.”
L: “I don’t think it should count then.”
L continues to stretch – shoulder shrugs, neck tilts, deep breaths. The sounds of R brushing his teeth and V cleaning the kitchen can be heard in the background. The dog enters and is knocked on the head by L stretching.
L: Seriously?
V enters.
V: I could throw the cat at the dog... your blogs always make me sound like a crazy person. Someday I'll stop talking. Then you’ll be sorry.
L: I think we should leave her at 363 words.
R: I’m going to bed.
V: That is the safest course of action.
R drops a towel in L’s lap and exits.
L: I think we should leave her at 363 words.
R: I’m going to bed.
V: That is the safest course of action.
R drops a towel in L’s lap and exits.
L: Wouldn’t it be ‘leaves the room?’ that’s more words.
Silence.
L: Now you have to say something profound.
V enters. Looks askance at the women on the couch. Seals lips together and exits.
A quiet conversation begins.
An interesting script, but it requires more !pop!, I suggest we Hollywood-ize it: just transpose "dog chases tail" with a high speed car chase scene.
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