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Books: A Jest of God

2012-02-27T21:09:00.000-05:00

Continuing with my journey through the literature by and about Margaret Laurence, I read her second Manawaka novel, A Jest of God.

In this novel, about a thirty-something 'spinster' named Rachel Cameron, a desperately lonely school teacher. Like her previous protagonist, Hagar Shipley, Rachel is trapped in a web partly of her own doing, party of circumstance. Living with a mother whose honey-covered barbs are almost painful to read, she is caught by the conventions and restrictions of obligation and societal norms. She is also self-conscious and critical to the point of being paralyzed into an uneasy stasis.

The narrative is intimately told from Rachel's perspective and while Laurence herself said it was slow to get moving, she felt she had to allow Rachel her own time and way to tell her story. Rachel's gradual transformation, from solitude to companionship, from constraint to cautious freedom, is a gradual process - and one that she does not earn without heartache and pain.

The ending of the book has one of the most beautiful and timeless passages of freedom I know.

"I may become, in time, slightly more eccentric all the time. I may begin to wear outlandish hats, feathered and sequinned and rosetted, and dangling necklaces made from coy and tiny seashells which I've gathered myself along the beach and painted coral-pink with nail polish. And all the kids will laugh, and I'll laugh, too, in time. I will be light and straight as any feather. The wind will bear me, and I will drift and settle, and drift and settle. Anything may happen, where I am going... I will be different. I will remain the same. ... I will ask myself if I am going mad, but if I do, I won't know it."

As I've mentioend before, not only am I enjoying re-reading Laurence's novels, I am also reading her memoir, letters and a bio about her. Although she does not discuss much of a book while she is writing it, she admits to her fears and doubts about its viability. She struggled for months to find a way in to the novel - in fact she wanted to write about two sisters and for a long time worked on Stacey's story (which was to become The Fire Dwellers), but eventually realized that Rachel's story had to be told first.

These discoveries reveal just how closely connected Laurence was to her characters - and how real they were to her. It is this strength of connection and depth of understanding that enables her to write in such a memorable and honest voice.

Senate Committee on Bill C-10

2012-02-20T21:16:00.000-05:00

Today I had the pleasure of attending the Senate Committee meeting regarding the review of Bill C-10 - the Omnibus Crime Bill I've been following for months. I was there to write a blog for the Canadian Drug Policy Coalition. Here's what I wrote:

During a 7-hour long meeting today, the Senate Committee heard from 13 individuals speaking to various aspects of Bill C-10. While most of the witnesses addressed the Bill’s immigration-related aspects, the Assembly of First Nations (AFN) National Chief Shawn A-in-chut Atleo and AFN senior strategist ,Roger Jones talked about the negative impact the Omnibus Bill will have on Aboriginal Peoples.

Atleo spoke via video conference from his community on the west coast of the Vancouver Island. He made it clear that the AFN is very concerned about the direction Bill C-10 is headed in and that this legislation will not make Aboriginal communities safer. Unfortunately his testimony was cut short due to technical problems, so Jones fielded the Senators’ questions.

Jones told the Committee that the AFN searched high and low for elements within Bill C-10 that would improve the situation for Aboriginal Peoples – and couldn’t find anything.

He said the Omnibus Bill will compound the existing over-representation of Aboriginal people in the criminal justice system, such as through Manditory Minimum Sentences (MMS) for drug offences and the removal of judicial discretion with regard to such things as the Gladue principles.

References to the Gladue decision were frequent throughout AFN panel discussion. Gladue principles, based on a 1999 Supreme Court interpretation of Section 718.2 of the Criminal Code, provide that reasonable alternatives to imprisonment should be sought and particular attention should be given to the circumstances of Aboriginal offenders.

Senator Mobina Jaffer suggested that the Senate could recommend an exemption clause in Bill C-10 so as to preserve Gladue principles.

Senator Fraser questioned how often these principles are applied. (Not often enough, Jones replied.) Senator Lang challenged Jones as to why MMS for such reprehensible crimes as child sexual exploitation should have exceptions for Aboriginal offenders. Jones replied that nature of the crime should never negate the need to look at the offender’s circumstances.

In contrast to the AFN’s detailed concerns with the Omnibus Bill, University of British Colombia Law Professor, Benjamin Perrin, noted his strong support of “all” aspects of the bill, suggesting it balances criminal law by enhancing the accountability of offenders and increasing the rights of victims.

He argued that more people charged with cultivating marijuana should be imprisoned and that 89% of marijuana production comes from organized crime groups and the majority of what is produced is destined for the United States, fueling serious border problems. This argument relies on the assumptions of supply suppression and drug probation which have actually made drugs more available and cheaper, and have undermined the public health system.

Indeed, all criminal justice legislation relies on certain assumptions – such as incarceration as a tool of deterrence and segregation as punishment – but as the AFN repeatedly pointed out today, these assumptions and their outcomes have resulted in a sustained failure to address the systemic roots of crime or how the justice system continues to fail First Nations Peoples.

Books: The Stone Angel

2012-02-07T21:26:00.000-05:00

The Stone Angel is Margaret Laurence's most well-known book. Compulsory reading in most high schools, it is undeniably part of the CanLit canon. It was also one of the first books I fell in love with. I still remember being deeply affected by the proud, stubborn character of Hagar Shipley and in reading about the dying seagull, recognizing that this poignant metaphor of the desperate struggle for life.

I love my copy of The Stone Angel - well-loved and worn. It's shown in the photo beside a postcard I have of a real stone angel in the graveyard of Margaret Laurence's home town of Neepawa, Manitoba (where she was born in 1926).

The Stone Angel is one of the five books that Laurence set in the fictional prairie town of Manawaka. It was the first book she wrote about Canada - her previous works being about Africa.

When she began working on the novel in the early 1960s, Laurence seemed almost surprised by the story and unsure of how to manage it. "This daft old lady came along," she wrote to her friend, Adele Wiseman, "and I will say about her that she is one hell of an old lady, a real tartar. She's crabby, snobbish, difficult, proud as lucifer for no reason, a trial to her family, etc. She's also - I forgot to mention - dying."

But while Laurence was very sure of the character, she was not so sure about the novel. "The whole thing is nuts," she went on to Wiseman. "I should have my head examined... Sometimes I feel so depressed about this, I think I will take up ceramics."

Unlike her other books, in which she invested a lot of time and revision in crafting stories and descriptions about colonial relations and such issues, she seemed take aback that this book was "written almost entirely without conscious thought... I simply put down the story as the old lady told it to me."

Yet this book, and the voice she found as a writer through it, marked a profound change in in Laurence's career. It also marked a very personal transition for her. For her African books, Laurence had relied a great deal on her husband - for his editing and his approval. When she showed him her draft of the Stone Angel, he didn't like it. She tried to re-write it to suit him, but realized in the end that she had to be true to her original voice. Though not the only factor, this decision was part of the ending of her marriage.

Reading The Stone Angel again for me is like meeting an old friend again - I'm filled with memories, yet struck with new insights. I never cease to marvel at Laurence's rich language and brilliant character portrayals - just as I never cease to feel a strong mix of frustration and affection for the character of Hagar.

As an interesting side note, the book was almost called 'Old Lady Shipley' and it was only just before it went to press, as both Laurence and her publishers were fretting over the title, that Laurence re-opened the book and recognized the image that is in the first sentence and which occurs throughout the book - the stone angel.

Karma in a loaf

2012-01-16T20:21:00.000-05:00

I've always believed that if you do something nice, somewhere down the road, you'll get something nice back. This isn't exactly my motivation for doing good things, but it's nice to believe in.

And if I doubted before that the good does come back, I no can.

On Saturday, Miya and I stopped at the Bagelshop to pick up some bagels for lunch. It was a bitterly cold day, with a windchill driving the temperature down to around -30. A man was standing outside the Bagelshop asking for spare change, his bare hands chaffed with cold.

On our way out with a warm bag of a dozen fresh bagels, I asked him if he wanted one. He accepted and thanked us.

We were parked just around the corner and as I was pulling up to the main street, I saw a loaf of artisan bread in a plastic bag, lying on the middle of the street. It was still warm enough that steam clouded the bag. I looked around to see if anyone was coming back to pick it up - but there was no one around. I thought of just leaving it, but knew the next car to come around the corner would likely crush it. So, I opened my door and scooped it up.

Give a bagel, get a loaf of bread. Now that's some tasty karma.

The Price of Sex

2012-01-10T20:48:00.000-05:00

This afternoon I went to the Library and Archives Auditorium for the screening of a rather grim documentary called 'The Price of Sex'.

This feature-length documentary is about young Eastern European women drawn into sex slavery - tricked into becoming prostitutes, imprisoned in brothels, abused and discarded. It is narrated by Mimi Chakarova, a woman who grew up behind the Iron Curtain in Bulgaria and later emigrated to the United States. She returns to Eastern Europe to find out why so many women from Eastern Europe were become victims of sexual trafficking. Her story is deeply personal and very courageous. Working for over a decade, filming undercover and risking her own safety to gain access to people and places controlled by sex traffickers, she pulls back the curtain on the horrors of human and sex trafficking.

It was an honour to have the filmmaker, Mimi Chakarova, there at the screening today. After the film, after the applause had died down, she spoke a little about the film and then fielded questions from the audience.

After hearing theses stories (like that of a woman who fell more than 3 floors trying to escape her brothel prison, only to be returned to her pimps half-paralyzed, still forced to service clients), the audience not surprisingly wanted to know what we can do. How can we fix this problem? How can we stop this travesty??

Sadly, there are no clear answers. A rep from Human Rights Watch spoke about the challenges faced in addressing sex trafficking, such as the economic depression which has left many young women without any options to earn a living, and the corruption among police and intergovernmental agencies. There is no simple thing that we could go home and easily do in order to feel better and forget that women as young as 10 are taken from their homes to become sex slaves in foreign countries.

Yet while there is no easy solution, there are things we can do, such as support the work of those NGOs who help trafficked women and lobby our own governments to effectively address human trafficking. But to be honest the problem is much bigger than all of us. It will take many hands and many voices to make real and lasting change.

But I, for one, want to be part of it.

Letter #1: Myself, 2013

2012-01-03T14:20:00.000-05:00

My goal for 2012 is to write 100 letters.

The first letter, oddly enough, is written to myself, one year hence. When I was about 12, I began writing letters to myself which I would write in the early days of a new year, seal up and open the following year just after midnight. I wrote about this last year at the beginning of the 365-blog challenge.

Although I diligently kept up the annual letters throughout my teens and twenties, sadly in recent years I've let it slip. I didn't have a letter to myself to open on the dawn of this new year. But there is one sealed and ready for 2013.

I'm going to also create a sort of new year's letter with Miya for her to open a year from now. Perhaps I will sow the tradition with her.

In writing these letters, I don't try to capture or sum up the whole year - I have journals (and this blog) for that. Instead I write about where I'm at in the moment and some of the things I hope for myself in the coming year.

When I was young, these letters were often full of dreams and longing. I had many new horizons to explore, places to discover. As I get older, these dreams change. But no matter how old I get, I don't ever want to stop dreaming.

I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
I feel my fate in what I cannot fear.
I learn by going where I have to go. - Theodore Roethke.

Challenge complete

2011-12-31T22:36:00.001-05:00

So here I am, the 365th day of the year, writing the last 365 words of my daily 365-word blog. Glad this day has finally come. I had no idea what I was signing myself up for when I made the bet with V a year ago.

As a writer, I’m always looking for ways to express myself in the written word. I thought blogging would hone my skills and give me more opportunities to do this. But while I have a new respect for blogging and those who are able to build successful blogs, I’m still not convinced it’s the right medium for me. Although perhaps it was the daily aspect, forcing half-thought-out posts and late-night rambles, which has made me so hesitant.

Yet for all my embarrassment over the typo-filled, rambling blogs I’ve posted over the last year, I have had some fun – like writing the early Waiting for Wii blog based upon Beckett’s play, or retelling an account of a night spent with friends based upon the request for more action and flair. I don’t know if anyone noticed, but I’d often put in random links, like to the Karma Sutra or an on-line photo. Such small things amuse me, and it’s nice to wonder if someone else might get in on the joke as well.

I’m sincerely grateful to everyone who has read this blog. I honestly don’t think I would have made it to the end if I did not know that there were people following me. It’s odd enough to send out words each night into the void without hearing a deafening silence in return.

I have decided that for next year’s challenge, I’m going to write 100 letters. I appreciate the suggestion of monthly public art installations – but on thinking about it, that is much like what I have been doing this last year – sending things out into the faceless void. For next year, I want to get personal. I want to connect one-on-one with people. (So if you would like to receive a letter, just send me your address and I’ll write!).

But I will keep up the blog as well, so stay tuned.

Happy New Year!

Year in review quiz, part 2

2011-12-30T19:02:00.002-05:00

Here is the rest of my year-end quiz. I should have said yesterday that you have until Jan 5 to submit your answers in a comment.

6. What CFL player did I run away from?
a) Tracy Ham
b) Anthony Calvillo
c) Doug Flutie

7. What type of news story most depresses me?
a) tough on crime
b) global warming
c) rape in the Congo

8. Where did I meet a Haberdasher?
a) Earnscliffe garden party
b) Reach silent auction
c) Amnesty Write-a-thon

9. On which subject has the library educated me?
a) wine
b) felting
c) penguins

10. Who said, “Don’t tear up the pages of your new book”?
a) Adele Wiseman
b) Margaret Laurence
c) Gabrielle Roy

11. If I lend you a book, what would I like in return?
a) a bookmark
b) one of your favourite books
c) $5

12. NNTR
a) WTF
b) LOL
c) EOM

13. What did V give me for our last anniversary?
a) silk yarn
b) iPod touch
c) Nordik gift certificate

14. About which piece of legislation have I most blogged about
a) Bill C-233
b) Bill C-10
c) Bill S-4

15. Who assesses democracy based upon how women fare?
a) Margaret Laurence
b) Marjane Satrapi
c) Peggy Nash

16. Where did I write the PSEE?
a) at home
b) government office
c) university campus

17. How many days did it take me to walk 1,600 kilometres?
a) 64
b) 72
c) 86

18. The charity which my husband raised money for this year was
a) Amnesty International
b) Prostrate Cancer Canada
c) Canadian Red Cross

19. What group seeks to “inspire, connect, and bring peace to the world through music”?
a) One World
b) Little Princes
c) Playing for Change

20. What kind of car does Santa drive?
a) Chevrolet
b)Volkswagen
c) Cadillac

21. Who is Miya’s favourite band?
a) Cornflower Blue
b) Sharon, Lois and Bram
c) Hey Buster

22. Who is Tomina?
a) a prairie writer I admire
b) my great-grandmother
c) V’s aunt

23. What breed of cow once licked Miya’s hand?
a) Jersey
b) Brown Swiss
c) Holstein

24. My guest bloggers wrote about
a) politics
b) gardening
c) princesses

Year in review quiz

2011-12-29T21:31:00.000-05:00

Well, my year of daily blogging has almost come to an end. I can’t say I am proud of all that I have written over the course of the year, but I am happy to have made good on the challenge (and hoping V will make good on his promise to give me a nice gift for the accomplishment).

I’m also grateful to all those who have been reading my blog. When I started this challenge at the beginning of the year, I had less than 20 views on my blog per month. This month I’ve had over 1,700! I know some of you who have been reading these entries – but can’t help wondering about the others those of you whose paths have crossed mine through this strange medium.

As a way to wrap up this year, and to thank all of you who have been reading this blog, I’ve devised a little challenge. Today and tomorrow, I will post some multiple choice questions about my 2011 blog and invite you to try and correctly answer all the questions. The person with the most right answers will win a knitted coffee cup warmer or a felted owl (your choice).

As the comments in this blog are moderated, you can submit your answers by posting them as a comment. I will see your comment but will not make it live (so no one else will see your answers). But I will post a comment with your name (or nickname if you prefer) and the number of correct answers you got. On the 31st I will reveal the winner.

Let’s begin.

1. Who bought the convent site across the street?
a) Richcraft
b) Ashcroft
c) Domicile

2. What is special about Chilly?
a) she can fly
b) she has colourful feet
c) she is a penguin

3. Who said, “who’s going to pay to drive around and see beavers?”
a) Senator Nicole Eaton
b) National Post illustrator Steve Murray
c) Professor Andrew Derocher

4. How old was I the first time I worked as a carnie?
a) 13
b) 14
c) 15

5. What did we buy in Carp?
a) garlic
b) corn
c) our Christmas tree

Books: This Side Jordan

2011-12-28T20:20:00.000-05:00

Margaret Laurence’s first novel, This Side Jordan (published in 1960) is set in 1957 on the eve of Ghana’s independence. The story revolves around two young couples, African – Nathaniel and Aya Amegbe – and English – Johnnie and Miranda Kestoe. Although narrated in the third person, everything is seen from the perspective of the two men – with more interior dialogue accorded to Nathaniel than to Johnnie. Even Laurence herself did not think this novel was entirely successful. In 1969 she admitted that “the novel contains too much of Nathaniel’s inner monologues” – a criticism I agree with.

The wives are important characters, but seen through the lens of their husbands. This is interesting choice given that Laurence was to become later known as the creator of some of our strongest literary female characters (Hagar in The Stone Angel and Morag in The Diviners). Perhaps her decision to write from the perspective of men demonstrates her uncertainty about her own voice as a writer.

In 1956, as Laurence was finishing her manuscript, she wrote to her friend Adele Wiseman, “who am I to write about Africa? I don’t know a damn thing about it, relatively speaking. I’ve had the nerve to write half the thing from an African’s point of view.”

There is a vivid authenticity in her descriptions – the crowded markets and bustling streets of Accra, the fading clubs where Europeans gathered to cling to their former glory. But the voices of her protagonists don’t quite ring true for me.

Her audacity in adopting their point of view speaks to her imaginative and creative abilities, and there is no doubt that she has incredibly keen powers of observation and literary talent. But I kept getting the impression that she was interpreting, as perhaps she could not help but doing, all that she so studiously observed through her own foreign point of view.

As I read this book I recalled reading a memoir by Malian author Amadou Hampâté Bâ and being swept up in a narrative and perspective so culturally different from my own. While Laurence is able to masterfully convey the exterior aspects of a culture foreign to her own, ultimately she could not enter interpret it authentically.

23 1/2 hours

2011-12-27T22:36:00.000-05:00

If you’re looking for a new year’s resolution, here’s one that is deceptively simple: limit your sitting and sleeping time to 23 ½ hours.

(Disclaimer: I am shamelessly building this blog from a youtube video called '12 and ½ hours: What is the single best thing we can do for our health'.)

The author, Dr. Mike Evans, argues that we spend most of our day sitting and sleeping and the best thing we could do as far as preventative medicine goes is get up and be active for at least half an hour each day. This basic approach has been shown to be successful in treating a variety of problems such as arthritis, diabetes, depression, and dementia.

This isn’t new. I don’t know how many times I’ve told a doctor about some health concern, only to be told to ‘get more exercise and sleep’. (Helpfully, it has been suggested to me that the cure for insomnia is to get more sleep.) It’s common knowledge, but perhaps so common that we’ve forgotten its worth.

What I like about this little re-framing of the time-worn advice is that Dr. Evans argues that the amount of activity doesn’t have to be extreme. You don’t have to start running marathons if you want to reap health benefits – a daily 20-30 min walk alone will bring you plenty of positive benefits. For example, a study in Japan found that every increase of 10 minutes in your daily walk to work can result in a 12% reduction in cases of high blood pressure.

As a big fan of walking, it’s not surprising that I would be a fan of the advice to walk 30 minutes each day. Hippocrates said that ‘walking is man’s best medicine’ and Nietzsche said, ‘all truly great thoughts are conceived by walking.’

So here is one goal for 2012 (not the only goal – about which there will be more in the coming days): limit my sitting and sleeping time to at most 23 ½ hours. V gave me a lovely moleskine day-timer for Christmas in which I can record my daily activity. I don’t think it will be hard – allowing me plenty of time for other challenges...

Watching Anne

2011-12-26T22:06:00.000-05:00

One of the things that I remember about the Christmas holidays from I was growing up was watching the Anne of Green Gables movies which used to air on CBC in December.

The Emmy- and Gemini-award winning first- movie, which tells the story of Anne’s arrival at Green Gables and how she wins the hearts of her Prince Edward Island community, was filmed in 1985. I don’t know how many times I’ve watched it over the years – I’d keep coming back to the familiar story and its loveable heroine.

This year for Christmas V bought me the DVD set of the trilogy and tonight I twisted his arm into sitting down and watching the first part of the first disc. He tolerated it well enough – and for me, it was like stepping back into my childhood memories.

I grew up reading Lucy Maud Montgomery’s books and loved her Anne and Emily heroines. They were imaginative, independent, feisty and kind-hearted dreamers and I would lose myself in the pages of their stories.

In making the Anne movies, director Kevin Sullivan managed to stay perfectly true to the character of Anne, even while changing the story’s timeline and events. He captured the strong, emotional friendship between Anne and her ‘bosom friend’ Diana, Anne’s stubborn refusal to let herself fall for Gilbert, and the deepening bond between Anne and her foster parents, Marilla and Mathew. Apparently the film has been studied in American universities’ communications courses on how to successfully adapt literary material for the screen.

Of course, to have such a successful movie, the acting has to be solid – and the central actors are all fantastic, especially Megan Follows (who plays Anne and who was only 16 when first cast in the role), Colleen Dewhurst (Marilla) and Richard Farnsworth (Mathew). And an interesting bit of trivia, Schuyler Grant who plays Diana is the great niece of Katherine Hepburn who recommended Grant for the part of Anne – but as Sullivan was determined to have a Canadian play Anne, he chose Follows.

Watching part of the Anne trilogy tonight has been a lovely walk down memory lane – a lane of cherry blossoms and idyllic vistas. A perfect holiday tradition.

It's the most wonderful time of the year

2011-12-25T22:50:00.001-05:00

When I was a kid, Christmas was something magical that happened. Presents, dinners, cookies, parties – all of these things magically appeared as if Santa came down the chimney and with a nod of his head, filled stockings and cookie tins.

As an adult, Christmas runs the risk of becoming a long to-do list. Gifts to buy, cards to send, meals to plan, baking to do, rooms to clean, presents to buy and wrap... And yet, in the hustle and rush of it all, there is still some magic to be found.

It’s been a busy weekend. Hosting a party with friends and loved ones means baking, cleaning, shopping, and prepping. Wanting to have a special Christmas breakfast meant leaping out of bed to get coffee brewing, a quiche cooking and snowman biscuits baking. But it's the doing of these things that makes the holiday extra special.

Today we had a picture-perfect white Christmas. Wanting to get out of the house and away from plates of cookies and crackers, my plan had been to give Miya a sled for Christmas as the last present with the hope that she would want to take it for a spin outdoors. It worked perfectly.

As soon as she saw the sled, she wanted to sit in it. She contentedly sat in the sled, munching on a biscuit, while we got ready, then was happy to get bundled up in layers (it was -16 after all) and head outdoors. Snow was softly falling and the air was crisp as we took her through a park to deliver a Christmas card.

Other families and children were out in sleds and on skis. A little boy slid down the hill and into the trees, wailing for his mommy the whole way down. A 4 year-old neighbour girl was learning to glide down a hill and climb back up. Dogs bounded through snow drifts, tails wagging.

I couldn’t have asked for a more beautiful day. And in looking back at this Christmas, it has been lovely. We create the magic and watch it sparkle in our daughter’s eyes, we gather with friends and create the memories and moments to cherish.

Merry Christmas everyone.

Twas the Night before Christmas (retold)

2011-12-24T21:45:00.004-05:00

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the houses
Women were bustling and nagging their spouses
Cookies were baking, turkeys were roasting
There was still much to do before the dinner we’re hosting.

The children had finally been coaxed to their beds
With wish-lists for Christmas rattling ‘round in their heads.
I with my to-do list had just send my man
To rush to the store for a bigger roasting pan

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter
I sprang to the door to see what was the matter
In the cold night of winter as I opened the door
Frosty air swirled around where I stood on the floor

Street lights on the crest of the new-fallen snow
Sparkled and glistened as though the ground was aglow
And what to my wondering eye should appear
But a Cadillac sedan with red shiny veneer

With a little old driver, so lively and quick
I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick!
My, the times are a-changing, I mused to myself
As he climbed out of his car with the aid of an elf

He was dressed all in fur, from his tips to his toes
With a chuckle of laughter, he struck a comical pose
As a bundle of gifts he pulled from the trunk
Some tumbled to the ground with a resounding clunk

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his task
What I had been baking he didn’t bother to ask

With a nod of his head and a wink of his eye
All cooking was finished, dishes washed and dried
At our Christmas tree then he scattered some presents
And filled all the stockings with wondrous contents

I offered him milk, but he chuckled in decline
And instead offered me a bottle of wine.
With a nod and smile, he turned to depart
And I thanked him profusely, with my hand on my heart

Then I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight,
"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!"

Next year's challenge?

2011-12-23T20:52:00.000-05:00

The year end is approaching and while I’ll be so happy to be done with this daily blogging – and admittedly proud that I’ve made good on the challenge – I am fool enough to be looking for the next new year’s project.

I asked for ideas a couple of days ago and agree with the observation that I’m looking for an on-going project with measurable targets. And since I found the daily aspect of this blog the most difficult part, I also want something for which the targets are spread out more, like over a week, month or even the whole year.

Ideas I’ve been given, or have toyed with, thus far:

1) Go green – either by reducing household energy consumption by 15% compared to 2011 or by producing zero waste.
These ideas appeal to my values – but what makes them difficult is that I’m not the only person consuming energy and producing waste in this household.

2) Raise a certain amount of money for a charity of my choice.
Again, this one has a certain appeal. But I’m not so sure about the financial target because raising money for charity often means hitting up friends and families – and I usually feel guilty about doing that. If I could raise the money through some feat or performance – like a guy in Ottawa this summer who ran an impressive 7 marathons in 7 days – that would be different. But I can’t think of anything right now that I could work toward. Maybe for 2013.

3) Get a golf handicap under 18.
Given that I had to ask V what a golf handicap means and that I’m more likely to be found protesting the environmental travesty of golf courses than swing a club (sorry Doug), I don’t think this one’s quite right.

4) Write 100 letters.
This is one that I’m seriously considering, especially given my love of snail mail and my mission of saving our postal system. It also seems a nice counter to a year of internet writing.

3) Deploy one public art project per month. Public poetry and yarn-bombing most certainly count.
This is the other top contender (and V’s pick). Love it.

Decisions. Decisions.

Spa en nature

2011-12-22T21:08:00.000-05:00

Get really hot, so hot that you’re dripping sweat from every pore in your body, then step out into the brisk winter air and walk under waterfall that spills from a bank of snow and ice above. Your heart pounds and blood races through your body. It is the epitome of invigorating.

As you might guess, V and I spent several lovely hours at the Nordik ‘spa en nature’ today. This is one of my favourite places in the region – a little paradise I love to visit a few times a year.

For anyone who has not had the luxurious pleasure of visiting Nordik, they use the Nordic techniques of hot and cold baths. For the hot, you can sit in a sauna or a steam room – feeling your pores opening and your muscles relaxing. From there you plunge straight into one of the icy-cold baths.

It’s recommended that after the hot-cold experience, you rest awhile so your body can resume its normal temperature before beginning another sequence. For resting there are plenty of options – whirlpools, fireside seats, hammocks (in the summer), quiet rooms... When you’re ready, you go back into the heat.

This morning I felt like I was coming down with a cold. I hadn’t slept well, was sneezing and had that slightly headachy feeling. But after a few hours of steaming and relaxing – and breathing in plenty of eucalyptus – I’m feeling better than fine.

This was the second time that V has come with me to the Nordik. The first time I think he was a little unsure about going to a ‘spa’ – but he was curious to see what it was I’d been raving about since I first went there as part of a birthday outing for a girlfriend of mine. You’d think I’d just discovered chocolate the way I was carrying on.

It didn’t take him long to appreciate it too – and while the clientele is predominantly women, there are plenty of boyfriends and husbands accompanying their fairer halves. And it was nice to go there together today, to take a few hours to sit and breathe deep. So tonight I’m feeling rested and grateful. It’s been a lovely day.

Winter Solstice

2011-12-21T22:38:00.000-05:00

A freezing rain is falling on dark, icy streets outside. It’s fitting weather for Winter Solstice, the longest night of the year. We in the northern hemisphere are now at the furthest point away from the sun. After tonight, the days will start to get longer – although the temperatures will continue to get colder for several more weeks.

There are candles burning around the house tonight, marking this long cold night and signalling hope for the lengthening days.

Solstice and the approaching year-end have me thinking a lot about endings and beginnings, and about change. As Heraclitus said, ‘the only constant is change’, yet as we get older, sometimes the change is harder to see, harder to realize.

When I was in my 20s, change was my constant. I was much better at starting fresh than I was at planting roots. I don’t regret that – and often miss the freedom, spontaneity and discovery of travel and new beginnings – although I do value what I have gained by learning home and community.

Indeed, the two biggest changes in my life – marriage and parenthood – have made a different sort of constant out of change. These changes are permanent and all that I do, all the changes I make, for the rest of my life must include and accommodate them. Change has now become more complex, an interconnected movement and dance, no longer a solo show. How do the changes I make as an individual affect my partner, my child? What does it mean to dream and create the possibilities of change and discovery when my life is not solely my own?

Sometimes I look at my daughter and imagine the endless possibilities before her. It’s exciting to know that there is so much she will do, be and discover. While we get glimpses of her personality, she is still growing and changing at such a rapid pace it’s almost dizzying. But for myself, I’m no longer so certain what it means to plan and hope for change.

“We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time” - T.S. Eliot

Losing steam as I near the end...

2011-12-20T23:59:00.000-05:00

It’s 11:50 and I’ve spent over an hour looking around on the Internet, hoping to find something to inspire a blog topic. I’m still at a loss.

While there are many news stories which interest me – the death of North Korea’s Kim Jong-il, the on-going crisis in Attawapiskat, the funding of health care – to none of them can I offer any new insight or angle. I don’t also know enough about these issue to have informed opinions so haven’t anything to add to what you could read for yourself.

Getting nowhere on the news sites, a few clicks and I soon find myself lost in the quagmire of youtube.

Youtube just released their listing of the most popularvideos of the year. Curiosity got the best of me and I ended up clicking on a few – cute babies, funny pets, wanna-be pop stars, the usual semi-amusing, semi-depressing collection. Youtube is one of the reasons why I have little faith in democracy.

The internet depresses me.

Over dinner tonight with some new friends I bemoaned a little too long the loss of letters and letter writing. In my defense, one of the people we were eating with works at Canada Post and was commenting that it is a bit of sinking ship. My audience was receptive enough – but I know that I’m arguing a losing case as I try to bring back the dying art of letter writing, as I try to convince people to write personal greetings in letters and cards.

Our society keeps looking for shorter and quicker ways to communicate, to get more information more quickly. And here I am trying to slow it all down. Just because we can send something quicker doesn’t mean it’s better – in fact, grammar, manners and tact are flying out the window as fast as missives into cyberspace. One recent study even found that people are more likely to lie in text messages than they are in person. Shocker.

I’ve been thinking about what I want to do for next year’s challenge. It has to be something not blog or internet related. As you can see, I sorely need a break from this. Any ideas for me?

In defense of Christmas cards

2011-12-19T22:19:00.001-05:00

As I was checking addresses for sending off Christmas cards the other day, a comment was made that mailing out cards was a rather environmentally unfriendly choice. So today I present my arguments for the old-fashioned in-the-mail Christmas card.

I’ll admit, a Christmas card sent in the mail has a larger carbon footprint than an e-card or email newsletter. However, as one who still wants to hold a hardcopy, printed and bound book when I read, my strong affection for print is not new. And I firmly believe that tangible hold-in-your-hand, string-up-on-your-wall cards are much more meaningful to send and to receive.

You’ve got to admit, getting a card in the mail is so much better than opening an e-card (no matter how cute the jingle) or downloading an annual letter. And it doesn’t even compare to a post on facebook.

A card in the mail says, we’re thinking of you – and we took the time to get a card, address, stamp and mail it.

Cards can be decorated, coloured and signed. Miya likes to add her flair of stickers and scribbles to the one for her classmates and friends. Even if she doesn’t help with the card, I’ll often tuck in a photo or sample of her artwork. Such cards can become keepsakes or at least share a tangible glimpse into our lives.

Also, the Christmas cards we receive are a key part of our festive decorations. Although they may not get the same focus as a tree or the string of lights, they stand on the mantle as a reminder of our friends and loved ones. Unlike the ornaments we unpack from the box this year, the familiar things we hang from tree branches and window sills, we never know what we’re going to get.

I remember as a kid we’d have so many Christmas cards that we couldn’t possibly display them all. Instead, my mother would put out a festive bowl or box into which the cards would pile up. I recall looking through the pile, seeing photos of old friends, updates from far-flung relatives.

But as of today, we have received 5 cards, one of which is from our local MP.

Cesaria Evora

2011-12-17T21:49:00.001-05:00

In 2003 I went to see Cesaria Evora perform at the Ottawa Bluesfest. Already a fan, I was thrilled to have the opportunity to see her live – as it turned out many others were as well.

She seemed a little uncertain and stiff when she took the stage – Bluesfest was perhaps an odd venue for this reticent singer who was already well into her 60s. But the crowd was so enthusiastic and supportive that she warmed to us as with each song the applause grew louder, the joy more palpable.

The only English I remember her speaking was when she said, ‘Thank you’, but as she warmed to us, she also talked to us more in the Portuguese-based Creole spoken in native Cape Verde. We didn’t understand a word, but we cheered and applauded and she beamed back at us.

About halfway through the concert, the woman known as the “barefoot diva” said something which was likely to the effect that she needed a break. The spotlight was turned off and she sat down on a chair beside the grand piano, lit a cigarette and sipped on a drink. While the band played, we could see the smoke from her cigarette drifting above the stage as she leaned back and listened to the music.

After the song, the Grammy-winning singer rose again, came to the front of the stage and picked up the mic. We cheered our welcome and the show continued.

Sad to hear that this legendary singer passed away today in Cape Verde, her small country of islands off the coast of West Africa. Cesaria Evora had turned 70 in August. Her music has been compared to Billie Holiday’s jazzy-blues, combined with Brazilian and African style rhythms and sounds. It’s very soulful and beautifully sad.

Cesaria Evora did not become known internationally as a singer until well in her 40s. Her performances were understated – all about the music, not about the performer. Having grown up in an orphanage, she was familiar with poverty. She always performed in bare feet, a symbol of her solidarity with the people of her impoverished country.

Rest in peace, Cesaria Evora. Thank you for your beautiful music.

Miya's Winter Concert

2011-12-16T21:24:00.004-05:00

Today was Miya’s first school concert, although to be honest, concert’ might be a bit of a stretch. What a group of 1 and 2 year-olds produce is not exactly musical – but it was absolutely heart-warming and lots of fun.

This morning after breakfast Miya put on the little Christmas dress made of stiff black- and red-checked fabric which her grandma had bought for her, new tights, new black shoes and a fancy little headband. She stood in front of the mirror, grinning at herself in all this finery.

Because Miya’s Montessori school is in one of two campuses owned by the same Wesboro Montessori group, the toddler programs from the two schools were coming together for their winter concert, which was held at the sister campus.

I dropped Miya off there at 9:00 and then V and I were back two hours later for showtime.

Parents and grandparents filed into the small gymnasium in which a little ‘stage’ was set up – a stage which consisted of a round carpet and some decorations on the wall. We nabbed seats in the front row – by which I mean we sat at the front of some coloured foam mats laid down across from the carpet stage.

Around 11:00, the first group of toddlers trotted in and we all clapped and laughed as they shyly performed. Miya’s class was next. I thought that once she spotted us she wouldn’t want to go to the stage, but she willing went with her class and settled in beside her best friend, Gwyneth.

My daughter loves to sing. At home she belts out ‘Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star’, the alphabet song, the ‘Itsy-Bitsy Spider’ and many other favourites. But put in front of a room full of strangers, not surprisingly the only real singing came from the two young teachers. Miya did some of the actions and enjoyed the applause, but it’s unlikely our daughter will be auditioning for the Mouseketeers anytime soon. She’s very far from diva, this child.

I feel like as a parent I’ve witnessed an important first – and Miya’s been buzzing around on high ever since. Her favourite bedtime story has now become “Miya and the School Concert”.

Espresso Book Machine

2011-12-15T23:55:00.004-05:00

McNally Robinson’s, an indie book store from the prairies, has recently installed Espresso Book Machines in their stores. In the amount of time it takes to brew a coffee, they can print up a book for you.

Espresso book machines are attached to a computer through which a customer can order a book. The machine will start to print the book and as the pages are printed they will drop down onto a tray. Once all the pages are together, glue is applied to the spine. At the same time, the cover is printed and dropped down to meet with the pages. Cover and pages are glued together and pressed down. A sharp blade cuts the book to size and it shoots out a slot.

There are only 11 such machines in Canada.

Self-published authors can use the espresso machine to make a limited number of their books. The machine can also make physical copies of out-of-print books and public domain titles. For example, Alice in Wonderland is a book in public domain which you could order a physical copy of with an Espresso Book Machine. If you could then find a coffee espresso machine and get a nice hot latte, your morning is set.

V says, “What’s the difference between this an e-reader except it wastes paper?” I sigh.

But he does have a point, especially when it comes to public-domain works. If you want to read Alice in Wonderland, you can download it for free from Project Gutenberg. And e-books are apparently outselling paper books on Amazon.com these days as more people become comfortable reading their books on their computer or hand-held devices.

I remember making the switch from print to pdf with texts and articles I had to read from my master’s program. It felt odd at first – I missed being able to highlight as I read – but I soon got used to it. I also found it very helpful to be able to do word searches when I was trying to find a quote or passage from the text.

And so the question is – is the espresso machine part of the future of e-literature, or is it clinging to the paper-based-past?

Santa: Magical story or big, fat lie?

2011-12-14T21:29:00.003-05:00

“Santa’s not coming to our house,” my daughter says emphatically. “He won’t come here.”

Miya has been very insistent that Santa should not come here. Strange scary man in red, with a beard so bushy it hides his face, breaking into our house in the middle of the night. The potential of gifts in a stocking does not offset the unease with a big stranger in the house.

“That’s okay,” I tell her. “Santa doesn’t need to come here.” She is relieved, but the next time she hears Santa mentioned she will remind me that he is not to come here. When she saw Santa recently at a Christmas party, she wanted nothing to do with him. I didn’t force the issue.

At this time of year, there may be many parents out there wondering how much longer they should keep up the Santa myth with their child. And likely there are a good number of kids who know that Santa isn’t real, but play along with their parents out of loyalty or perhaps out of fear that admitting they know there is no Santa will mean the presents will go away.

But I’ve been wondering about if and how I should tell Miya about Santa. I’m all for childhood stories and fantasies. I purposefully tell her magical stories and anthropomorphize nature. We have conversations with her stuffed animals, wake up the Christmas tree each morning, and look for elves in the trees. This is all part of the wonder of an imaginative childhood – although our little realist is forever challenging me with, “but that’s not a real thing, Mommy.”

So is Santa part of the magic of childhood and of Christmas, or is he a big fat lie we tell our children, setting them up for the disappointment and disillusionment that is bound to follow when the discover the truth?

Should I be stringing Miya along, convincing her that a ‘ripe jolly old elf’ will fly through the sky on Christmas eve, slide down our natural gas ‘chimney’ (an opening so small that not even a bat can fit through any more), deposit present and eat our cookies? Is this what good parents do?

Occupying homes

2011-12-13T23:48:00.001-05:00

Before writing this post, I just want to say that I was tucked up in bed, about to fall asleep when suddenly I gasped. “I haven’t blogged.”

Sorely tempted to stay in my warm bed, especially since I have to get up early tomorrow and the clock is inching close to midnight. But it’d be a shame to drop out only 18 days from the finish line. So, here I am, wrapped in blankets in a dark and sleeping house. Blogging.

I haven’t blogged about the Occupy movement yet – although I have often considered it. What has kept me from doing so is my feeling that I have nothing to add to the many discussions and articles about it already circulating around the web. I had thought about spending a day with the Occupy Ottawa crowd, but sadly never made it down to their campground in Confederation Park.

Like many others, I have wondered about the efficacy and purpose of this movement – though at the same time applauding the efforts of the underdogs to challenge entrenched power. I can only hope that the energy being applied to these new and marginal forms of protest will also be applied to other forms of democratic expression – i.e. voting.

But while recognizing that I have little new to offer, I heard a story from the Occupy movement that really struck me – and was for me the first time I could find something to really grasp as far as the practical effects of the Occupy movement.

In Minneapolis, the Occupy Movement has moved from tents to the three-bedroom home of a woman facing foreclosure. Monqiue White turned to Occupy Minnesota for help when she was facing foreclosure on her home. For more than 5 weeks, dozens of protesters have been living inside and around her home. This action is part of “the shift from physical encampments in public parks to actions targeting economic inequality.”

I heard Ms. White and one of her supporters interviewed on CBC and was impressed with this example of people coming together to stand up to face Goliath. And I may be slow to catch on, but it’s finally starting to make sense to me.

Women too hard to buy presents for?

2011-12-12T22:20:00.004-05:00

So you say women are too hard to buy Christmas presents for.

Hogwash, I say. As long as you’ve put some thought into it and tried to find something which corresponds with her interests and taste, I’m sure you’ll do just fine.

For example, if she wears jewellery (and esp. if you know where she likes to shop for it) it’s hard to miss with a necklace or earrings.

But you say jewellery is too hard to buy.

How about a cashmere sweater? It’s a luxury item many women won’t buy for themselves, but would be very happy to cozy up into.

But you say clothes are hard since she’s picky about what she wears.

How about a subscription to local theatre or dance? You could make it a double with the promise of many dates to come.

She may like that, you say, but it’s not really tangible. It’s more something to slip in a card than to wrap up under the tree.

Okay, how about getting something for her hobbies or interests? Does she like to knit? Buy expensive yarn. Does she like to paint? Buy some canvasses and quality brushes. Does she take photos? Custom frame one of her photos or buy her a photography class. Does she like home renos? Get power tools. Does she cook? Some handy gadget for the kitchen...

These all sound too practical, you say. Not romantic enough.

Are there causes she cares about? You can give a meaningful gift to her by supporting the things that matter to her. I happen to love the WWF ‘adopt an animal’ campaign and support Plan’s ‘gifts of hope’. So if she’s complained about the commercialization of Christmas or wants to scale back the holidays, a gift like this shows you respect her values and choices.

Yeah, that’s nice, you say. But I still want something special for her.

Okay, on the opposite end of the spectrum – how about pure pampering at a spa? You could even go together.

That’s more like a good date than a good Christmas present, you say.

And I say, I don’t know that women being hard to shop for is really the problem here.

Season finale of the Amazing Race

2011-12-11T22:29:00.002-05:00

V and I don’t watch much t.v., but we usually make a point of catching the Amazing Race each Sunday night.

After racing through Indonesia, Thailand, Malawi, Denmark, Belgium and Panama, the final 3 teams (of 11) made for the finish line in Atlanta, Georgia.

The finalists were: Jeremy and Sandy, a dating couple who had consistently under-performed; Ernie and Cindy, a young engaged couple who’d run a good race despite many mistakes; and Amani and Marcus, a married couple whose solid relationship, communication and sense of humour were fun to watch.

“We’re playing at home and the ball is on the 10 yard line,” said Marcus as they all headed to Atlanta. A former NFLer, he was always good for football metaphors.

At the first challenge, teams had to bring a flight from 25,000 feet to touchdown in a simulator. Jeremy made it look easy – succeeding on his first attempt. Ernie and Marcus failed and had to try again.

But while J&S got a head start after the simulator, they couldn’t figure out that their clue for the ‘former residence formerly known as the dump” meant the old home of Margaret Mitchell, author of Gone with the Wind. They ended up wandering around a furniture wholesale store called ‘The Dump’ while E&C successfully landed their second flight, solved the next clue and took the lead.

At ‘the dump’ a team member had to type up the clue while figuring out that the missing #1 must be replaced with a lowercase L. Ernie struggled but finished before J&S arrived and while A&M were still stuck in the flight simulator since Marcus kept running the plane off the runway (effectively putting them out of the race).

E&C headed on to Turner Field where Cindy easily plotted the course of their race by clipping her rope through carabineers hanging off countries on a massive, vertical world map. As before, E&C were done before the other teams arrived. Their next clue led them to the finishing mat.

So, as often happens with this show, the last leg wasn’t the most exciting. We watch because we want to see who won, but it’s kind of unsatisfying all the same.

Human Rights Day

2011-12-10T22:29:00.001-05:00

Today is Human Rights Day when people around the world act in solidarity to call for justice and encourage those locked in the struggle for universal rights.

I’m taking a break from letter-writing in order to write this blog. Funny how unused to handwriting I am and how quickly my fingers cramp up when using a pen. And having copied a letter in triplicate in order to ‘cc’ others, I’m suddenly more appreciative of email.

But there is something satisfying about writing actual letters, especially since they carry more weight than a email – and significantly more than a ‘signature’ on an on-line petition. I’m proud to say I even got V to write a letter. He just handed it to me saying ‘here is my letter to the President of Azerbaijan – and I never thought I’d hear myself saying that.’

He writes: “Mr. Savalan has violated no laws and is being held as a prisoner of conscience. As such I must add my voice to the international chorus calling for his immediate release.”

I’m also writing to President Aliyev – and here at home to Minister Vic Toews to express my concerns about Bill C-4, the “Preventing Human Smugglers from Abusing Canada’s Immigration System Act”.

I write that “I am very concerned that Bill C-4 will violate Canada’s international human rights obligations” since this piece of legislation will, among other things, make a mandatory one-year imprisonment for anyone (children, pregnant women, victims of torture included) who arrive in Canada ‘irregularly’. Their cases will not even be looked at for at least a year – a direct violation of the Covenant on International Civil and Political Rights.

Bill C-4 is very much in response to the 490 Sri Lankan refugees who arrived on Canada’s West Coast in 2010 aboard an illegal Thai ship.

“Our Government will not sit back while Canada becomes a target for criminal operations that are trying to take advantage of Canada's generosity,” then Foreign Affairs Minister Lawrence Cannon said at the time. And certainly the Conservatives have worked to tighten legislation around refugees – but to the point that Canada may be guilty of violating our international and humanitarian obligations. Yet Another black-eye for Canada.

Women in politics

2011-12-09T21:33:00.002-05:00

Yesterday, NDP leadership candidate Paul Dewar made a proposal targeted at increasing women’s participation in politics (and likely also targeted at increasing his appeal among female NDP voting members).

Women currently make up less than 25% of our Federal Parliament.

Dewar suggests more women would be elected if there were more incentives for political parties to put forward women candidates. While Harper is working on phasing out the per-vote subsidy, he would like to bring it back – with some modifications.

Dewar’s “improved per-vote subsidy model would require political parties to nominate a minimum of 30% women candidates to qualify for the basic subsidy of $1.50”. The amount of subsidy would increase up to $2 per vote according to the percentage of female candidates.

The argument behind such a proposal is that gender equality is far from a reality and that women and political parties need extra incentives to run for office. I’m not sure whether to feel offended or flattered.

While I agree that we have not reached gender equality in Canada (given such things as income disparity and gender-based violence), I’m still never sure how I feel about measures which hint of preferential treatment.

Women only won the right to vote and run as candidates in 1921 (in my grandparents lifetimes). That year, Canadians elected a woman to office – Agnes Campbell MacPhail who served until 1940 in the Federal Parliament and went on to serve 5 years in the Ontario legislature.

In our last election, a record number of 452 women (28.5% of 1,587) ran for office. Manitoba had the highest percentage of female candidates (33.8%) and Nova Scotia the lowest (13%). Of the major parties, the NDP had 40.3 % women candidates, the Greens 32.6%, the Bloc 32%, the Liberals 29.2% and the Conservatives 22.1%.

Of those who ran, 76 (24.7% of 308) won their seat. Of these 76, 38 were elected for the first time and a there was also elected a record number of women under the age of 40 (18 in 2011 compared with 5 in 2008).

So it seems we are steadily moving in the right direction. Would a financial incentive help? Perhaps. Is it necessary? I’m not sure.

427,000 feet of commercialism (a.k.a. new IKEA in Ottawa)

2011-12-08T21:57:00.004-05:00

Yesterday Ottawa celebrated the grand opening of Canada’s largest IKEA store. The local paper reported that prior to doors opening, “IKEA employees warmed up the shoppers by pounding plastic "thundersticks" and chanting IKEA! IKEA! as dance tunes blared from huge speakers.” During the opening ceremony, both the Canadian and Swedish national anthems were played while flags were raised. Why are national anthems being played at the opening of the biggest big-box store in town?? Commercialism = nationalism?

As someone tweeted yesterday: ‘People are willing to line up at night to get into the new Ikea but don’t vote because, “It takes too long.”' Democracy loses to desk lamp.

The multi-level Ottawa IKEA store is 427,000 square feet of ‘Swedish style’. To navigate the mazelike interior, which is “purposely organized to confuse shoppers into buying more than they ever planned,” one must follow 1.3 kilometres of arrows from entrance to checkout.

IKEA had expected more than 14,000 people to visit the store on the first day. All staff – including many new hires - were on-site. Although only a few hundred customers showed up, the opening is still being celebrated as a success and there’s little doubt that the giant store will be a prime shopping destination during and beyond the holiday season.

Admittedly, I’m a sucker for IKEA’s style. I like the clean lines, the primary colours, the functionality – and even the challenge of building my own furniture. This doesn’t mean I’m buying into the craze.

We all know IKEA is a massive, global retail giant. But did you know it’s actually, a Dutch charity? Well, not a charity in the sense of an organization for humanitarian benefit, but rather the ingenious construct of financial loopholes which allow the world’s richest foundation (a.k.a. IKEA owners) to find safe-haven in charitable status with minimal taxes or disclosure.

Despite branding, the store has not been legally Swedish since the early 1980s. What they actually do is provide “Scandinavian designs at Asian prices” through a private Dutch-registered, tax-exempt, ‘non-profit-making’ company dedicated (not to alleviating poverty or curing communicable disease) to “innovation in the field of architectural and interior design”.

Hooray for disposable culture and those making millions off it.

Favourite Ottawa restaurants

2011-12-07T22:01:00.003-05:00

I don’t know about you, but I tend to like restaurants for one or two particular dishes. I order the same thing nearly every time I go. My thinking is, if I want something different, I’ll go to a different place. Sometimes, usually after being ribbed, I try to break out of my comfort zone and order a different dish instead of my preferred pick. I'm almost always disappointed and wish I'd just eaten what I had come for.

When I was in Mali, I remember craving a particular dish (a roasted vegetable and goat cheese salad) from a restaurant in Centretown. I was so disappointed when I came back to find that this restaurant had closed – and I’ve never found another salad quite the same.

While there are a few exceptions to my one-dish per restaurant preference (i.e. the Wellington Gastropub often changes their menu and I have tried several different things those times I’m lucky enough to get to eat there), the following is a list of my favourite restaurants and my favourite dishes there – in other words, where I am very unlikely to order anything else.

I’d be interested in hearing yours too – esp. from local fellow vegetarians.

Taj Mahal (our favourite Indian restaurant): palak paneer and onion bajia. The second, and more conveniently located choice of Indian restaurant is Indian Express where I actually alternate between palak paneer and chick pea curry.

Siam Bistro (best Thai place around): vegetable green curry

The Works (the go-to place for a burger craving): I’ll have the ‘Johnny be Goat’ with goat cheese, warm leaf spinach, roasted red peppers and a veggie patty. Another good place for a veggie burger is the Manx (which actually has a menu I deliberate over) as well as the Corner Bar and Grill (a new and welcome addition to the neighbourhood).

Basmati (fab little Indian restaurant downtown where I often pick up a lunch to go): vegetarian wrap –it’s goodness in a naan.

Fuschian (this is a little Vietnamese place in Chinatown that used to be called Cam Kong – lucky for me, the new owners serve a very comparable dish to my previous fav): vegetarian spring rolls on vermicelli

Pattern for knitted fingerless gloves

2011-12-06T21:48:00.008-05:00

I’m a big fan of fingerless gloves – perfect for fall and spring weather. So in the spirit of Christmas, I’m offering here my own pattern. (For all you non-knitters, apologies for a blog that will be written in a language you likely won’t understand.)

This pattern is knitted up with 4.5 mm needles to fit a women’s medium size. You’ll also need a cable needle or a double-pointed needle of at least roughly the same size. The photo shows these gloves knitted in Araucanía yarn (80% wool, 10% camel and 10% silk).

Left Glove
Cast-on 34 stitches.
Row 1-3: K1, P1 rib.
Row 4: K10 P1 K6 P1 K16
Row 5: P16 K1 P6 K10
Row 6-7: repeat rows 4-5
Row 8 (cable row): K10 P1 cable 6 (slip 3 stitches on cable needle and hold behind while you knit the next 3 stitches on your left needle; knit 3 stitches from cable needle) P1 K16

Continue in this pattern, cabling on rows 14 and 20.

Row 21: repeat row 5
Row 22 (increase for thumb): K1 Kfb (knit into the front and the back of the next stitch so as to increase by one) K8 P1 K6 P1 K16
Row 23: P 16 K1 P6 K1 P11
Row 24: K2 Kfb K8 P1 K6 P1 K16
Row 25 pattern
Row 26: K3 Kfb K8 P1 cable 6 P1 K16
Row 27 pattern
Row 28: K4 Kfb K8 P1 cable 6 P1 K16

Continue in pattern until row 37, cabling at row 32.

Row 38: K4 cast-off 5 stitches, continue in pattern (cable row)
Row 39: P16 K1 P6 K1 P7 cast-on 5 (turn work and knit into last stitch, slip stitch back onto left needle, 5 times, turn) P2
Row 40: K2 (before next stitch, slip needle under thread between stitches, knit next stitch then slip thread over that stitch) pattern

Continue in pattern to row 63, cable row 44, 50, 56, 62

Rows 64-66: K1 P1 rib.
Cast-off and sew together.

For Right Glove, follow the pattern in reverse (start with K16 P1 K6 P1 K10). For thumb increase, always start increase 8 stitches after cable in order to slant in opposite direction.

Sad day to be Canadian

2011-12-05T21:28:00.002-05:00

The world’s governments have been meeting in Durban, South Africa for this year’s United Nations’ climate summit (Nov 28 – Dec 9). Sadly, our Canadian government is making a very poor showing. Yesterday Canada reaffirmed that it will not sign up to fresh commitments under the Kyoto Protocol. And rumours are that we not only will not recommit, but we will also formally withdraw from the Protocol. Shameful.

As with so much that is happening under this Conservative government, this is not the Canada I want.

We are one of the world’s top ten greenhouse gas emitters. Our cold climate and spread out populace certainly doesn’t help, but neither does our government’s unwillingness to take firm measures to cap carbon output or reduce our dependence on fossil fuels.

Although urgent action is needed to slash greenhouse gas emissions and invest in measures to counter and address climate change, Harper’s government is reneging on Kyoto agreements and digging in its heels when it comes to making any real change.

According to ECO - a publication published by Non-Governmental Environmental Groups at major conferences since 1972, “Canada is negotiating in extremely bad faith” in Durban and “is acting on behalf of polluters, not people”.

Peter Kent, Canada’s Environment Minister, said it will stick by the Copenhagen and Cancun agreements (which are not legally binding) to try to prevent global warming from achieving or exceeding two degrees Celsius. Though it’s a measurable goal, but not binding countries to any actions to achieve this goal, I don’t see how it will be effective. Kyoto is the only accord that specifies curbs in greenhouse gases.

Under the Kyoto Protocol, Canada agreed to cut C02 emissions to 6% below the 1990 levels by next year. Instead, our emissions have continued to increase. By backing out of the Protocol, Canada will also be reneging on paying the penalties for missing its targets.

Canada isn’t the only country which won’t renew the Kyoto vows – Japan and Russia are also backing away from commitments. The U.S. has never signed on.

What with our shameful showing the Durban and the passing of the omnibus crime bill today in Parliament, it is a sad day to be Canadian.

NDP leadership debate

2011-12-04T21:46:00.004-05:00

This afternoon my mum and I headed downtown to watch the NDP Leadership debate. Since we were late and the Convention Centre was filled to standing-room only, we headed to a nearby pub where Paul Dewar’s crew had arranged for people to watch CPAC’s telecast.

I’m now decided that the best way to watch political debates is in a pub, with a beer and snacks, in the company of others. (The only downside was that CPAC only provided the English translation of the French part of the debate – leaving us tele-viewers to rely on random ndpldr tweeters for reports on how well the candidates did in French).

There were quite a few jokes in our little pub peanut gallery about how friendly the debate was. Many of the candidates complimented each other, graciously thanked each other, offered up bits of mild praise. Nathan Cullen said at one point that he was “in violent agreement with his colleagues”. An odd but rather fitting description of the debate over all.

Yet while the friendliness of the debate seemed almost comical at times, I was very glad to see the positive tone. ‘The ability to inspire and elevate the political debate is a position that’s ours for the taking,’ Cullen remarked and Niki Ashton called for help in bringing ‘new politics to Ottawa’.

I think this new, elevated politics could be brought forward by a leader who would campaign not only on personal merit, but on the ability to draw together the strengths of a team. This would be a candidate who could inspire people with a vision of a progressive, socially and environmentally responsible government – and with a demonstration of constructive, positive teamwork and the wisdom to celebrate and strengthen the party as a whole. As Thomas Mulcair said of the team, ‘together we are unbeatable’.

Obviously, such a position would be a delicate one to take during a leadership campaign – the goal of which is to be chosen as leader of the NDP. It would require not an insubstantial amount of finesse to highlight the skills of other candidates (opponents) but still look like the best pick. It would be hard, but it could be done.

5 things I love about winter

2011-12-03T21:44:00.005-05:00

Ottawa winters are often rather indecisive at the beginning. The temperature drops below zero and we might get a few inches of snow, but a few days later we’re back up above melting point and the grass looks green again. I hear many complaints about this time of year – and of the months of cold and snow to come – but for the record, here are five things I love about winter.

1) Snow. When I was growing up in Nepal, snow was something seen on distant mountain tops and in picture books. As an adult, I don’t think I’ve outgrown that childhood longing for blankets of snow transforming the world into a winter wonderland. Sure, I’ve met the less attractive sides of snow – shovelling walkways, scraping off cars, etc. But these can never overshadow the joy in seeing sparkling coats of white draped on trees, houses and the ground.

2) Firelight and candlelight. I light candles year-round, but as winters chill creeps in and darkness falls early, I love having a flickering candle in my window reflecting on the glass. I love watching flames dance in fireplaces and lit candles. So immediately cozy.

3) Walking in a winter wonderland. Walking is one of my favourite things to do no matter what the weather – but there is something rather magical about walking through snow, especially when soft flakes are falling. While living in Saskatchewan, I also came to value winter-ready gear and clothing and enjoy the exhilaration of braving biting cold when I know that I’m dressed for it.

4) Christmas. One of the things that makes the onset of winter extra enjoyable is that it brings with it the promise of Christmas. I love decorating the house for the holidays, getting a tree and filling our house with the scent of pine. I love the glowing lights on houses in the neighbourhood, ornaments hung from trees on the lawn. It’s easy to get discouraged by the commercialization of the holiday season – but it’s also easy to turn the focus back to my own home and my own reasons to celebrate.

5) And finally I can wear and share all the things I knit year round.

Crime bill goes to final Parliament vote

2011-12-02T21:52:00.005-05:00

On Monday, the Omnibus Crime Bill will go through third reading in the House of Commons. Once a Bill has been read three times, it’s sent to Senate for consideration. After being passed by the Senate, it will be presented to the Governor General for Royal Assent and becomes law.

Experts and advocates for both victims and offenders have all lined up in recent months to express their concerns to this costly bill that will see more people sent to prison for longer periods. Some provincial governments, Quebec in particular, have stated their opposition to this legislation that will see their correction costs balloon.

In light of widespread opposition, and piles of evidence showing its wrong-headedness, Conservatives have shut down debate on the Crime Bill – repeatedly using their majority to put limits on the length and depth of debate.

Given that they have majority in the House of Commons, it is unlikely that this Bill won’t sail through third reading and move on to the Senate. While those advocating for more humane, effective responses to crime will soon turn their efforts to addressing Senators (those unelected officials who, as far as I can tell, have absolutely no accountability to the public), it is not too late for one last public outcry of opposition to our Members of Parliament.

Today I called my local MP’s office to ask if he would be voting in opposition to the Bill. I already knew he would, but perhaps he would still find my phone call encouraging. I then called Rob Nicholson’s office – the Minister of Justice who tabled this Bill – to say, ‘for what it’s worth, I am against this Bill.’ The secretary politely thanked me and that was the end of our conversation. I also wrote to many of my contacts, encouraging them to make calls as well.

Despite my discouragement over the likely outcome of this bill, I have been encouraged by the groups who have publicly expressed their opposition. These include: Canadian Bar Association, John Howard Society, Elizabeth Fry society, Assembly of First Nations, Native Women’s Association, Leadnow, Harm Reduction Network, Canadian Civil Liberties Association, Church Council on Justice and Corrections and United Church of Canada.

11 down, 1 to go

2011-12-01T21:58:00.002-05:00

The first of December. Eleven months of daily blogging behind me – the last stretch ahead. What an odd experience this has been.

One of the more significant, and even attractive, aspects for me of being a writer is the solitariness of the craft. I’ve written poetry, stories, a novel – as well as plenty of academic and professional writing - all of which has been done with me and my pen or my computer. Alone. The vast majority of what I have written personally and even creatively has never been read by anyone other than myself.

Since I was a child, writing has been my way to work something out, to figure out how I feel about something or to diffuse pent-up emotion. In my diary, my writing is purposefully raw and uncensored. I also use creative writing to go to the edge of an emotion or an experience, and then take it one step further.

So given that my primary methods of writing are solitary and explorative, blogging is a strange medium for me. Despite that I may be sitting alone while I write, the minute I publish this to my blog, I have no control over who will read what I’ve written.

Instead of the freedom of solitude, I feel constrained by the undefined presence of my readers. I worry about boring you or disappointing you. Not knowing who is reading this, nor with what grace you extend toward me, I am afraid to become too vulnerable. So this has been a strange dance of giving enough of myself to engage, but not so much as to feel naked.

It will not be surprising, then, that I do not feel like I have found myself or my calling through blogging. I have a new respect for how this medium could be used for social or political causes and appreciate the value of sharing thoughts and reflections with others. I have been moved by some blogs I have read, and certainly prefer the intimacy of blogging to the gossip of facebook. But to be honest, I don’t know what I’m going to do with this come 2012. Whatever I do, it won’t be another 365x365.

Happy Birthday Winston Churchill

2011-11-30T23:47:00.001-05:00

Today is the birthday of Sir Winston Leonard Spencer-Churchill, born almost exactly 100 years before me in 1874.

Churchill is widely regarded as one of the greatest wartime leaders of the last century and among the most influential persons in British history. He was also a respected statesman, orator, historian, writer and artist – and the only British prime minister to have received the Nobel Prize in Literature.

He twice served as Prime Minister of the United Kingdom (1940-45 and 1951-55) and died 46 years ago.

Today was also the launch of the Ottawa Winston Churchill Society, founded by local Churchill scholar Ronald Cohen, and rung in at Earnscliffe, the residence of the British High Commissioner, who recently said of Churchill, “He wasn’t perfect and nor were his policies, but he had many good qualities, chief among them honesty and strong leadership.”

Churchill began his career as a journalist and writer. His was praised by the Nobel Foundation for “his mastery of historical and biographical description as well as for brilliant oratory in defending exalted human values.”

I’ve been thinking quite a bit about political leaders lately – what with the shenanigans among the American Republican leadership contenders and more close to home the leadership campaign for the New Democrats. How I wish we had a strong, visionary leader in Canada – someone to raise our eyes toward a higher goal, to inspire and to lead.

It’s almost as if no leader dares to be too visionary, to wax poetic or to engage in philosophic reflections. Churchill wrote about Canada: “A wild beauty haunts these solitudes, so plentifully supplied with water, so clothes in forests”. Can you imagine such poetry coming from a political leader of our day?

“We are crossing a petrified sea whose waves are rocks, whose foam is forest,” he wrote of northern Ontario. Having driven though this land of endless forests, rocks and trees, his words resonate with me. How strange that a British statesman who visited our country only 9 times should be able to describe this land in a way I have never heard from a politician of our own.

In my search for inspirational leaders, must I turn to the past?

Write for Rights

2011-11-29T20:55:00.004-05:00

On International Human Rights Day, December 10, would you like to be part of the biggest annual human rights event?

Amnesty International is organizing a global day of action: Write for Rights. People from around the world will come together to write letters calling for the protection and promotion of human rights. Last year, Canadian Write for Rights participants contributed 60,000 letters to the 500,000 world total.

These letters have proven to be effective in making positive change in people’s lives.

Amnesty International provides information about various human rights abuses about which you may want to write. For example, there is the case of 20-year-old Jabbar Savalan, a young man from Azerbaijan imprisoned for his Facebook activity. He had posted messages such as an article from a Turkish newspaper that was critical of the Azerbaijan president and he had called for a day of protest.

In February, he was arrested and later charged with possessing marijuana. Savalan, his family and friends have continually insisted that he never used drugs – even a blood test after his arrest showed no trace of marijuana. Human rights groups like Amnesty are insisting the drug charges are false and that his imprisonment is part of government crackdowns on activists using social media to protest against the government.

Savalan continues to be held in prison in Baku, not due for release until August 2013.

During the writeathon, you can write about cases like Savalan’s to leaders in our country and the country concerned. You can also write to the individuals affected and to their families and supporters. Addresses are provided.

Let the people who are suffering know they are not alone. Let those who allow human rights abuses know that the world is watching and that there are many people who care.

Sign-up for Write for Rights with Amnesty International.

For those of you in Ottawa, there will be a letter-writing event on the 4th floor of the Canadian Museum of Nature on December 8th. The evening will include live music, all-ages crafting, letter-writing, snacks, cake and a cash bar - as well as some ‘special surprise’. Entry to the museum is free for this event. Anyone want to join me??

Ed Broadbent on the phone

2011-11-28T22:55:00.001-05:00

Ed Broadbent called me today.

Well, it wasn’t quite like it sounds – I got a pre-recorded voice message when I answered the phone during Miya’s dinner time.

“Who called?” she asked.

“Just a politician asking me to vote for another politician,” I told her.

“What?”

“Um, politicians are our leaders and this man wants to help me decide who to choose as the party’s leader,” I tried.

“What?”

“It was Ed, sweetie. A man named Ed.”

That satisfied her and she continued on with her meal.

This is not the first time Ed’s called me. I’ve also had voice messages from Paul Dewar and am getting emails from Nathan Cullen, Brian Topp, Thomas Mulcair and Peggy Nash – all of whom among the 9 candidates vying for leadership of the federal New Democrats.

The campaign started in September and candidates are campaigning across the country. The leadership convention will be in March in Toronto. I can’t be there, but I am trying to follow this leadership race and become informed about the candidates. I want to find out how I can vote if I can’t be at the convention - and have enough information to make an informed decision.

I have realized that in the past I’ve been a bit lazy when it comes to political leadership races – and I’m guessing I’m hardly alone given our country’s abysmal voter turn-out. While I do vote, I don’t go too much out of my way to inform myself about my local candidates. I will read what is given to me, listen to what is said to me – but basically feel that if you, as a candidate, don’t know how to get your message to me, than you likely aren’t going to be much of a political leader. Right or wrong, I admit that this has been my default approach.

But for this NDP leadership campaign, I’m actually working to go beyond what is targeted at me. We so desperately need a stronger opposition in our Parliament – so I’m going to do what I can to find out about and support the candidate I think will have the best chance of building a healthy, positive and focused democratic party.

More princess talk

2011-11-27T21:23:00.002-05:00

This weekend, I was given two of the best gifts I’ve had all year– our friends visiting from out of town each provided a guest blog, sparing me, for the first time in over 300 days, from the daily drudgery of coming up with a blog subject. My gratitude is boundless.

I was also interested to see their takes on the princess discussion I had introduced in an earlier blog. And while apologizing to readers who do not particularly care about princesses or Disney and are already bored by this subject, I can’t help weighing in again with my .2 cents...

Do I think interest in Disney princesses will condemn my daughter to a life of eating disorders, sexual submissiveness, appearance obsession and pink convertibles? I do not.

Will she encounter Disney stories, movies and characters during her lifetime? Absolutely. And hopefully she'll come through the experience with a kind of affection and nostalgia that most of us have for the fictional characters we met in our youth. I don’t think there is anything wrong with that.

That said, as a mother raising a daughter in a mass-media dominated society which is constantly telling women and girls that their value lies in their beauty, sexuality and youth, I feel that a certain amount of diligence and proactive effort is required.

I feel it is my duty to be aware of what is she is being exposed to – through the books, games, puzzles, music, videos, etc. I think about what messages she is receiving through these various mediums – do they promote friendship, empathy, social responsibility, or do they talk about winning, appearance, and selfish behaviour?

I also feel it is my responsibility as a parent to be aware of how my daughter, given her age and development, absorbs and responds to the messaging around her. The way a two year-old understands a message will be very different than how an eight year-old or teenager will respond.

While the messaging of Disney princesses may not be entirely negative, I need to be aware of how she is receiving it.

There may always be princesses – I just need to be sure they’re not the ones raising my daughter.

Guest Blog: Tales of a princess generation tomboy

2011-11-26T22:15:00.001-05:00

I grew up with Disney.

We had 34 Disney videos on our fireplace mantle, most of them featuring a princess. Blonde, brunette, redhead, privileged, gifted and under-appreciated; all thirty-one flavours.

I loved them and all of their fairy tale wonders... Strike that, I love them (present tense). I am also a power tool junkie, a savvy business women, and can take my husband in a fight with one arm tied behind my back. Thanks to the princesses, I also love wearing evening gowns, doing my hair and going on a romantic walk with the man I love.

For me, Cinderella, Jasmine, Belle, and Ariel were inspirational. I think that, without them, I may never have found such pride in feeling beautiful and confident as a woman, not just as a person. I love feeling pretty and having all eyes on me; I love when my husband protects me and acts with chivalry, even though I am strong, smart and can do just about everything I want to on my own.

When I was a child, my family all got together one Christmas to give me everything from the bright pink Barbie aisle at the toy store: the horse, the convertible, the wardrobe of clothes, the man and of course, the girl herself. I received just one present that year that had nothing to do with Barbie.
I cried and cried and cried.

Barbie looks and dresses and dances just like the princesses. What is the problem? Why had I, and have I, never shown any interest in Barbie? (forget about why would my family decided to buy nothing but Barbie even though I had never shown any interest in her). Barbie is too two-dimensional. She has no flaws, no depth, no dark past, and no bright future. All she is, is a doll; even if you have a great imagination and give her life when you play with her, what is she?

The Princesses have lives. They have dark sides, histories and something they are moving toward. They aren’t my idols by any means, but they do present a quiet side of myself that I like to let shine from time to time and cherish.

Guest Blog: Disney defence

2011-11-25T22:53:00.001-05:00

A guest blog by Bizarro Anita (aka Doug)

Save us Princess!

Recent slanderous comments towards the great benefactor of the feminist movement, aka Disney, need to be address with hard facts.
Think back to the dark, un-enlightened days of the early 80’s. As recently as 1980, men outnumbered women in bachelor degrees awarded (Men: 469,883, Women: 465,257) However, based on current enrolment, female undergraduates will outnumber men almost 1.5 to 1. (2016-17 (estimated) Women: 1,057,000, Men: 707,000).

What changed? How did the most dramatic shift in gender educational ratios in the history of the world occur? The answer is clear: the increased participation in post-education activities by women is directly correlated with the introduction of the Disney Princess line. The combined inspirational power of Snow White, Belle, Ariel, Cinderella and Jasmine has achieved what decades of suffragettes could not: they have taught women that they can pursue any dream they chose.

Sure, feminists feared that a generation of girls raised on visions of princesses would destroy all the hard work of decades of women fighting for equality, but that simply has not happened. The explanation is clear: the incredible, remarkable potential of women is not that they must act like men, nor that they must act like princesses. The miracle of femininity is that they can do either, or both, or neither. The “sky is falling” viewpoint forgets the most obvious thing: women are smart enough and secure enough to forge their own path. They are not so weak as to be swayed solely by a cartoon dream. They can enjoy the princess dream as a child, much like little boys can dream of being knights or astronauts. But when the time comes to make real decisions about their lives, our little princess girls are making smart, independent choices for their future. And for the most part, those choices involve textbooks and laboratories, not pink dresses and ballrooms.

So please, stop underestimating the ability of our future women to tell the difference between fantasy and reality. The girls are fine. If they want a pretty little doll in a fancy dress, then allow them their joy. They’ll make the right choice when it really matters.

Books: The Prophet's Camel Bell

2011-11-24T21:22:00.002-05:00

In the last days of 1950, a young Margaret Laurence and her husband sailed from London to the then British Proctectorate of Somaliland. Her engineer husband had taken on an assignment to build ballehs – large water reservoirs – in the desert of Somalia’s interior.

The book, ‘The Prophet’s Camel Bell’ is a memoir of the two years the Laurences spent in Somaliland. Though unpolished and overly-long, it conveys much about the author, her keen sense of observation and her belief in human dignity.

Laurence optimistically believed that since she herself was not an ‘imperialist’, upon arriving in Africa she’d be able to pierce the cultural divide and build rich relationships of mutual respect with the local population. Much of the book deals with her coming to terms with her own naiveté and with the complex realities of race relations in the decade preceding independence.

She invested a great deal in trying to understand Somali culture and people. She learned the language and studied the culture and the people with an eye for detail and pathos. Her first published book (A Tree for Poverty) was a translation of Somali poetry.

Yet while she worked hard to understand Somali tribesmen, she readily acknowledged her deep antipathy for colonialists, whom she described “not [as] people who were motivated by a brutally strong belief in their own superiority, but people who were so desperately uncertain of their own worth and their ability to copy within their own societies that they were forced to seek some kind of mastery in a place where all the cards were stacked in their favour and where they could live in a self-generated glory by transferring all evils, all weaknesses, on to another people.”

While I can’t recommend this book as a page-turner or poetic masterpiece, Laurence’s struggle to find her place – both with regards to Somalis and the other expats – is thoughtful and thought-provoking. Anyone who has lived abroad, particularly on the doorstep of abject poverty, will find resonance in her writing and her personal struggles. Upon leaving Somalia, Laurence noted a poignant regret, which she described as a feeling which “arose from unwisely loving a land where I must always remain a stranger”.

The invasion of Disney Princesses begins

2011-11-23T21:57:00.003-05:00

Despite my efforts to avoid branding when shopping for my daughter, it was probably inevitable that she would become exposed to the Disney Princesses and their powerful marketing campaign.

The diapers I bought on sale recently have Disney Princesses on them – some have just Cinderella, some have 3 princesses. For a few days, Miya insisted on only wearing the ones with the 3 princesses – and she kept asking me what their names are, till finally I went on-line and found out.

Awhile back I read an excellent book called ‘Bright from the Start’ which explained brain development in the early years. One of the things that stuck me is that research has shown that little boys are attracted to motion and little girls to faces – almost right from the get go. There is a reason why little boys love toy trucks and trains and little girls prefer dolls: we are wired that way.

Babies and small children are also attracted to symmetrical, aesthetically-pleasing faces.

I’ve also noticed that in the last few months, Miya has become obsessed with knowing the names of everyone she sees.

All of this makes her a perfect target for Disney’s massive princess marketing strategy. And in perfect timing, she’s just coming to the age where she is asking for specific purchases.

Peggy Orenstein, in her book Cinderella Ate My Daughter, notes that Disney has "26,000 Disney princess items on the market today, part of a$4 billion-a-year franchise that is the fastest-growing brand the company has ever created.”

My daughter loves familiarity – it is no surprise that if she sees a Disney princess everywhere she looks, she will be more likely to want a Disney branded item over a non-branded one.

There are arguments to be made for the princess culture promoting ideas of girls and women being valued most for their looks, of waiting for Prince Charming, of living vacuous lives in castles... I agree with much of these things and could probably add a few rants of my own. But right now, with my two year-old, I’m wondering how I can best counter the pervasiveness of the Disney princess and their pretty, vapid faces popping up everywhere she looks.

Top 10 meals in a hurry (3)

2011-11-22T21:20:00.001-05:00

Finishing up with the easy-meal series - and seriously, would welcome suggestions from any of you out there.

6) Fresh-mozza risotto & baked squash
This recipe may be pushing it in terms of the amount of time required – but it is super easy and requires almost no advance prep.

First I’ll chop a squash in half and shove it into the oven to bake; then I’ll get going on the risotto.

Fry some shallots in butter and olive oil, add a couple cups or arborio rice. When the rice is translucent, add a cup of white wine. After this has been absorbed, dump in a cup of tomato sauce and some soup stock. Keep cooking, adding ladles full of liquid stock as needed until the rice is cooked – then fold in some fresh basil, grated parmesan and a cup of fresh mozzarella. Serve with the buttered & peppered squash.

7) Homemade pizzas
I cheat with this one by using store-bought pizza crusts and sauce, but for an easy, flexible meal, it’s hard to beat. V can add sausage or whatever meaty bits he wants to his, I can load mine up with feta. Tonight I also added leftover steamed broccoli from M’s dinner, some fresh spinach, and red pepper. Easy and quick.

8) Pasta and tomato sauce
One of my standard quick meals is pasta and tomato vegetable sauce. I’m not particularly proud of this since it’s a lot of cheap, refined carbs. But I do load up my sauce with lots of fresh veggies – especially onions, garlic, peppers, zucchini and spinach. Lately I’ve also been throwing in a can of chickpeas for the protein. Top with some cheese and it’s practically respectable enough to serve.

9) Burritos and rice
This is another recipe that calls of leftover rice – which fortunately we often tend to have. Basically it involves cooking up some beans with onions, garlic and seasonings to give it a bit of a Latin flair. Get some tortillas and roll up the rice with beans, salsa, sour cream, lettuce, tomato, etc...

10) Brownies
Not really a meal – but I do have a great recipe that is quick and easy. Chocolate fix in minutes.

Top 10 meals in a hurry (2)

2011-11-21T21:13:00.004-05:00

Yesterday I started blogging about my favourite 10 easy meals. I was thinking afterward that for anyone who knows me, it might seem rather ridiculous for me to be offering cooking advice. If I do have any talents, cooking is not among them.

But then again, this may be precisely a good reason for me to put out these recipes. Surely there are others out there like me in this regard – busy people who want to eat healthy, balanced meals but don’t really have the inspiration or inclination for fancy cooking. And it helps me just to write these down – so that the next time I’m hungry and uninspired at 7 p.m., I can look back at what I’ve written and be reminded of some of the easy options I have.

And I'd certainly love to hear of other healthy, easy, quick vegetarian dinner ideas!

3) Fried Rice
This one requires having a bunch of left-over cooked rice – which if I have, I’ll combine with sautéed onions, peppers, garlic, ginger and whatever veggies I have on hand (i.e. zucchini, peas, corn). I’ll usually mix a bit of sesame oil in with the peanut oil I use for the sauté – love that smell and flavour – and toss in some soya sauce when I add the rice. After the rice has heated, I’ll push it to one side of the pan and crack an egg, scramble that up and mix it all together. Done. (As an added bonus, this one goes over really well with Miya.)

4) Soup
Way back in January, I blogged the recipe for my favourite veggie soup – this is still a go-to dish, although no two versions turn out exactly alike. Maybe that’s what keeps me coming back. That and nothing beats a bowl of fresh, hearty soup when the weather is cold.

5) Quinoa Salad
I was guilty of making this one a little too often this summer. I’d cook up a bunch of quinoa – and, once it was close to room temperature, mix it in with random salad goodies like red onion, tomatoes, cucumber, feta, fresh spinach... Tossed with Italian dressing or vinaigrette it was ready to serve in no time.

Top 10 meals in a hurry

2011-11-20T22:24:00.001-05:00

I’m writing this blog as much as a favour to myself as to anyone who might be interested in reading it.

I would be the first to admit that I am not one to plan my meals ahead or to want to spend any more time in the kitchen than absolutely necessary. While I have great respect for good cooking and admire people, like my husband, who enjoy experimenting with new recipes and fancy ingredients, I tend to cook simple, straight-forward fare, preferably using few pots/pans and requiring minimal prep time.

So, for anyone out there who finds themselves stuck on what to cook for dinner, with the energy to spend no more than about 15 minutes prepping, and yet a desire to have something relatively healthy and balanced to eat, here are my top ten meals-in-a hurry. (Warning: I am a vegetarian.)

1) Bean Chilli
Chop up an onion and garlic and get these frying while you raid the fridge for any peppers or other vegetables you’d like to add. Add some spices (I’m a fan of dried chilli flakes, cumin and cinnamon) and other veggies. Toss in a couple cans of beans (i.e. chick peas, black beans) and some tomato sauce. Simmer and serve.

If you want to make this more of an indulgent comfort food, after simmering for awhile – pour these over a bed of tortilla chips, add some salsa and grated cheese and pop in the oven.

2) Rice and Lentils
I made this one tonight - it’s my fall-back food when I’m feeling the need for something basic and healthy.

On one burner I get a pot of brown rice going. On another, I begin again with onion and garlic – also adding minced ginger and mustard seeds. For spices I’ll use cumin, turmeric and maybe curry powder. Finely chopped red peppers are nice to add too.

When these soften, I’ll toss in a bunch of lentils then add water and stock cubes. Depending on cooking time needed, I’ll add things like kale or spinach after the lentils have cooked for a bit. This all takes about 30 mins to cook – but needs very little prep or fuss.

To be continued.

Back on campus

2011-11-19T21:50:00.000-05:00

I spent several hours today on the University of Ottawa campus. I was there to write the Public Service Entrance Exams – along with about 2,000 other public service hopefuls who took over the campus today.

I always find something a little nostalgic and even romantic about being on a university campus. Maybe it’s the young, hip kids walking around, the autumn leaves, the books and buildings housing libraries and learning... I’m not sure, but I know that whenever I’m at a university I want to curl up in a library with a thick tome or sit under a tree and sit under a tree and discuss philosophy.

I remember in high school being told that these would be the best years of my life – and finding that a very depressing thought. High school was something to overcome, not to hold on to. University however, there was something of a golden age to that which I recognized at the time.

I felt incredibly lucky to get to spend my time thinking, reading and writing. Sure some classes could be dull and the workload intense at times, but I loved that world. I loved learning. I loved the start of a new year, the buying of new textbooks, the first notes written down. I even liked the late nights and study sessions, the dates in computer labs and reading rooms. I had favourite nooks in libraries, study corners where I could lose myself in ideas and words.

University was also a time of new friendships and encounters. It’s only natural really – you put a few hundred or even thousand young adults together and it won’t take long for ties to form of attraction, friendship, jealousy, betrayal, longing, annoyance... I can’t say I have remained close to many of my university friends, but I find myself thinking of them from time to time.

Certainly today, when I was walking through the campus and saw young girls walking and talking together, couples holding hands, friends sharing coffee and cigarettes, I felt like I was remembering my youth. I sound old saying that, and yet I actually felt young again – although in a sense that I was only passing through.

Movember's mos

2011-11-18T21:28:00.003-05:00

I’m surprised I’ve made it this far into November without blogging about this, about these things that are sprouting up all over the place. Even my own home is not safe – there is one growing within these very walls.

Yes, I’m talking about Movember and the mos I not only see around town, but across from me at the dinner table.

I must admit though that my husband is putting on an impressive display of rapid facial hair growth, if such things do inspire. There is nothing measly or wimpy about his ‘stache – which isn’t the case for some of the ones cropping up.

For those who don’t know, Movember is a global movement which encourages men to sprout ‘mos’ for the month of November and to raise money for prostate cancer and men’s health. The movement has over a million participants and has raised over $176 million.

I blogged about this campaign back in September and encouraged V to join – so yes, I’d be a hypocrite to complain about it. And while I will be glad when the month is over and my man is clean-shaven once more, I’m happy to see him having fun, doing something to raise money for a good cause – and kicking some mo-growing a**.

You can support my man and his mo through his MoSpace page. Money raised through the Movember campaign here in Canada goes to Prostate Cancer Canada, a national foundation dedicated to the elimination of prostate cancer through research, education, support and awareness. Last year nearly 119,000 Canadians participated to raise $22.3 million (Cdn).

For any of you bold men out there growing mos this month, there are tips available online for keeping a neat and healthy stache – such as being sure to moisturise the skin under your facial hair so as to avoid dry mo flakes (ew!), keep it combed and keep it clean (taking care you don’t have any crumbs or left-overs stuck in it after you eat). You may even want to try a dab of conditioner, wax, hair gel or putty to add some flair and style.

So mo-growers out there, take pride in your stache. But please, don’t get too attached.

Nils Christie: Restoring Peace

2011-11-17T21:32:00.003-05:00

Tonight Nils Christie, renowned Norwegian criminologist, gave at talk called ‘Restoring Peace, Restoring Neighbourhoods’.

Professor Christie, author of books such as ‘Crime Control as Industry: Towards GULAGs, Western Style?’ is well respected in criminal justice circles for his insight into justice systems and promotion of restorative, community-based responses to crime and conflict.

His manner was what one might expect from a brilliant, elderly scholar and thinker – he made self-deprecating comments about being unable to read his notes or not knowing how long he’d been talking, made politically-incorrect statements and admonished people to do stop doing such things as moving away. He reminded me very much of my late, brilliant great-uncle – someone who could get away with saying certain things because his experience and wisdom were so apparent.

Christie began his talk by letting his audience know where his obsession with criminology and justice began. He talked about growing up in Nazi-occupied Germany and the shocking realization, after the war was over, that not only had Norwegians joined the Nazi party, but there had been a concentration camp in Norway and guards there had killed and abused prisoners.

As a young researcher, Christie was involved in studying what had happened at these Norwegian camps. He interviewed survivors and guards and noticed a striking difference in how prisoners were perceived between the guards who killed and those who did not.

Essentially, the guards who killed prisoners were those who saw them as wild animals and sub-human species. Those who did not kill or abuse the prisoners, on the other hand, were those who saw the suffering of the prisoners, who recognized the starvation, filth, disease and, most importantly, the humanity of their charges.
This research gave Christie the conviction that conflict can only be overcome and addressed when we ‘see the other person as a person’ and ‘come so close to each other as to feel the other’s vibrations’.

He has long been advocating for a justice system which would allow victims and offenders (though he balks at those categories) to be fully present and heard with each other – and for communities to take control of, and responsibility for, the conflict among themselves.

Much food for thought.

Canada's unsurprising failure on climate change

2011-11-16T22:15:00.002-05:00

I have a very small appetite for politics. A few House of Commons debates, interviews with politicians. Committee hearings, or policy reports and I feel full to the point of nausea.

As anyone who’s been reading this blog has likely noticed, what attention I give to politics, especially at the federal level, is largely devoted to critiquing the misguided and costly ‘tough-on-crime’ agenda that’s being undemocratically rammed through Parliament.

But I fear that in my bloated state I’m neglecting a bigger issue: our country’s failure to come to grips with climate change.

Last month, Parliament’s environment watchdog expressed concerns that Canada will not get its act together with regards to addressing climate change.

Not only is Canada failing to meet the Kyoto targets (anyone surprised?), but it is also dropping the ball on the Copenhagen accord and its own Federal Sustainable Development Strategy.

Scott Vaughan, commissioner of the environment and sustainable development said “the government's current climate change plan lacks the "tools and management systems needed to achieve, measure and report emission reductions." He added that the plan is made up of at least 35 different programs which are "disjointed, confused [and] non-transparent.”

It seems the only way our government is trying to meet greenhouse emission targets is by lowering not the emission but the goal. For example, they decided that instead of aiming to reduce emissions by 282 million tonnes since 2007, they’ll aim for 28 million.

And it seems that while the government is willing to spend billions of dollars on various ‘environmental’ programs, they don’t have any strategy in place to monitor or co-ordinate efforts.

And yet they’re rushing to push forward the Keystone XL pipeline, all the while not having clear information about how the Alberta oilsands are affecting the environment or what the impacts of the pipeline will be. They say they will do more monitoring, but that just buys them more time to continue to allow the oilsands to expand.

By the time my daughter is 10, climate change will likely cost our country billions of dollars. By the time she is my age, she will likely see increased health problems, soaring costs – but not likely any polar bears.

More like exercise, less like diets

2011-11-15T21:22:00.002-05:00

I’ve been writing a quite a bit lately about my somewhat existential crisis and the multiple offshoots of indecision and questions it has planted in my mind.

And I came to realization yesterday that I need to find ways to make this problem more like exercise and less like dieting.

Let me explain. They say that one of the reasons dieting is much harder than exercise is because it is a negative action, a deprivation so to speak – and a constant one at that. One must constantly be exerting willpower in order to resist the temptation to eat whatever foods one is trying to avoid. Studies of willpower have shown that even basic problem solving, like doing a series of math questions, erodes willpower – so by the end of the day, most people will find their willpower depleted and be more likely to give into temptation.

Exercise, on the other hand, also requires willpower but in a positive sense. One must muster the will to partake in whatever exercise regime one has chosen – fitness class, gym workout, run, etc. However, once the task is completed there is no longer any need to bolster one’s willpower – and one has the added benefit of feeling satisfaction for a positive accomplishment (satisfaction less easily come by for negative/deprivation actions).

So how does this relate to my current problem? Well this is exactly what I need to figure out. I need to find a way to make my questions less like dieting and more like exercise.

What I realized is that the decision to be a writer is like dieting in this analogy – not so much in that it is a deprivation, but rather in that it requires a constant exertion of willpower, a continual re-affirmation of the choice (to write/to diet). Too many other personal decisions rolling around in my head are also the dietary type – ones which constantly require attention and effort.

But how does one turn diet regimes into exercise regimes? If I were to continue with this analogy, one would determine the end goal (i.e. to lose weight) and then determine positive actions which could be taken toward meeting that goal.

I’m finally feeling hopeful.

Walking home with Miya

2011-11-14T22:41:00.002-05:00

One of my favourite times of the day is going to pick Miya up from school. I arrive there between 4:00 and 4:30 and she is usually playing the back courtyard with her friends and teachers. When she sees me coming she runs toward me and I scoop her up in a hug.

For the first couple months of her schooling, I would take her to the front yard and buckle her into the stroller or bike chariot to bring her home. But lately Miya has decided that she is old enough to walk all the way home herself. As you might imagine, this has turned a 10-15 min walk into a 45-50 min one. Yet while we not be literally stopping to smell the roses, we certainly do take everything in.

The first thing we do upon leaving the school is pause so Miya can choose a little rock to carry home in her pocket. We then walk along the quiet side street which her school is on until we get to the MEC parking lot which we cut through to get to “the busy street”.

We then pass by a Bridgehead coffeeshop where the large storefront windows are often open onto the street – so Miya pauses to look inside. A little further on is a store selling pashmina scarves which she caresses. Further still, a barbershop where there is almost always a man getting his hair cut. Miya will stand at the door watching for a few minutes.

We continue on, past storefronts with Christmas wreaths and trees to pause and admire. A florist has berries, rosehips, wreaths, evergreens and other seasonal decorations displayed along the sidewalk. These require several minutes of admiration before we can move on to watch a display of floating goose down at a pillow store then cup our hands around the Christmas lights outside Kitchenalia.

By this point, Miya is usually getting quite tired and it becomes a bit more challenging to keep her moving. Sometimes I’ll carry her a bit until a burst of energy sets her running off.

It’s dark by the time we get home; on a clear night we even might see some stars.

Toy testing

2011-11-13T21:56:00.002-05:00

Enough with my angst. As I was saying to V after posting last night’s blog – it’s not even a real crisis that I’m stressing over. It’s not like I’ve been offered a demanding career position and at the same time receiving a writers grant from the Canada Council or an invitation to an exclusive writers’ retreat.

Fiona Apples sings: ‘He said it’s all in your head and I said so’s everything but he didn’t get it’.

It’s all in my head. Time to move on.

So, on a lighter note, I applied today to have my family/daughter be part of the toy testing team of volunteers for the Canadian Toy Testing Council (CTTC).

CTTC is a non-profit organization that tests toys for infants to teenagers and releases reports about toys’ durability, safety, design, function, battery consumption and play value.

If we’re selected as a toy-testing family, it’s not exactly like we win the lottery, but it does sound interesting. I’ll have to go to a 2-hour orientation session and pay a $30 membership fee; then I’ll have to pick up a toy, observe my child playing with it over a period of 6-8 weeks, carefully record results on a guided questionnaire and return the report and the toy at a set time. We will have opportunities to buy the toys Miya really liked at the annual fall sale – if she’s still interested in them that is.

CTTC has been getting kids to test toys since 1952 and test about 400 toys a year. Their annual report stands out from the myriad of other similar reports released this time of year – in everything from news outlets to individual retailers (in my Globe and Mail this week there was promotion for Indigo’s pick of top toys). There will also be lists of the most eco-friendly toys, best-buy toys, consumer choice toys... We are gearing up for the Christmas shopping season and toys are a huge market.

Funny in a way that I should be doing this, since I don’t actually think my kid needs high-tech toys or the newest craze. But this could be entertaining – and hey, it kept me from blogging about my own ridiculous problems.

In the stillest hour of your night

2011-11-12T21:48:00.003-05:00

You may have noted my existential crisis of late which has stemmed from the fact that for the last 20 years or so I have built my life, more or less, around being a writer. I’ve turned down professional opportunities out of my stubborn belief that I needed to be devoting a significant part of my time and energy to writing.

Sure, the last few years have added the all-consuming role of motherhood, thus making my goals a little less clear – but I still imagined that I could juggle writing and mothering, while hanging on to enough paid work to contribute to household and childcare expenses.

Well, recently a bucket of ice cold water was dumped on my dreams. “If you want to be a writer, buy lottery tickets,” I was told. “Once you win, then you can write. Till then, you have to earn your living.”

“We’ve already had a J.K. Rowling for our generation, and there isn’t likely to be another.”

“Unless you plan to write teenage vampire drama, you’ll never be able to make a living as a writer.”

Grow up. Get a real job. Start pulling your weight.

“You’ll feel much better once you have a good job,” I've been told. Get something reliable that pays well. Get benefits, paid vacation time. Paid vacation? I can’t imagine.

Perhaps, the wisest, most responsible thing for me to do at this point is to heed the sound advice of my friends and mentors and leave aside the romantic ideals of writing.

And yet, I keep hearing in my head the words of Rilke written in ‘Letters to a Young Poet.’

“Nobody can counsel and help you, nobody. Search for the reason that bids you write; find out whether it is spreading out its roots in the deepest places of your heart, acknowledge to yourself whether you would have to die if it were denied you to write. This above all – ask yourself in the stillest hour of your night: must I write? ... if you may meet this earnest question with a strong and simple “I must,” then build your life according to this necessity.”

Until this point, this has been my mantra.

Theatre: Whispering Pines

2011-11-11T23:06:00.002-05:00

For my birthday, V gave me a pair of blue shoes and tickets to the theatre.

So tonight we walked down to the Great Canadian Theatre Company (GCTC) to see Whispering Pines, a play set both in 1987 East Berlin and 20 years later on the shores of Lake Superior.

This three-actor drama revolves around the relationship between Renate and Bruno, two artists living behind the iron curtain and trying to imagine and create a new world, and Thomas, a Canadian academic who wants to write about the couple.

After the Berlin Wall fell, it was discovered that the Stasi had employed half a million informants, and every third citizen was under supervision. Files have since been released to individuals who had been watched and this play hinges upon Renate’s retrieval of her file and the discovery of betrayal.

I won’t give the whole story away since I do think it’s worth seeing for anyone who might have the chance (although the run ends on Nov 13 at the GCTC). However, I did find the play rather laborious to watch.

It was not unlike reading good, but very dense poetry – poems which you appreciate because there were some beautiful words and turns of phrases, some haunting images or metaphors perhaps – but which leave you rather exhausted and content to close the book after a few poems.

The playwright Richard Sanger is, not surprisingly, a poet. He has been nominated for Governor General’s Literary Awards and his words were certainly layers of complexity and imagery. But it can be rather tiresome to listen to layers of complexity and imagery, set in scenes which leap around in time and are reconstructed in different ways (the same scene played out 4 different ways, for example). It’s interesting, but also a little frustrating. Too clever by half.

The playwright may have intended that we start to question what is the ‘real’ turn of events, whose version can we trust, what does trust mean... Perhaps one could say the layering and weaving of past and present, fantasy and regret, is successful in that it mirrors this intent. One could also say that there is much to be said for simplicity.

I am not young enough to know everything: Oscar Wilde

2011-11-10T22:14:00.001-05:00

I feel like I’ve been drifting a bit lately, and there are a couple of women whom I greatly respect who seem to have taken it on to set me straight.

Both of these women are incredibly bright and successful in their careers. They know how to be assertive and direct without seeming pushy. They speak with knowledge, experience and authority – and people listen. I listen to them with what’s likely a look of awe and admiration on my face. I want to be able to speak and conduct myself with that certainty, that wisdom. I want to be a commanding but not domineering presence... I want to follow them around and take notes on their every move.

Fortunately for me, both of these women have been very generous in their advice and in taking the time to help me get sorted. Both of them keep telling me I have sold myself short, have wasted time and energy chasing after the wrong things, and have to be much more realistic in my goals and approach.

I certainly cannot do either of them justice in trying to pass on their words of wisdom – and much of it is specific to my complex personal situation – however, most of what they have told me could be summed up in the following two pieces of their repeated advice to me:

1) Value your work. “No-one buys cheap perfume: not because it doesn't smell nice, but because the price suggests it won't. Ditto asking for payment: if you don't set the price high enough, they won't value your work.”

2) Be valued. It is soul-sucking to work with and for people who do not value your work. Find a job that values and respects what you are contributing.

These may seem obvious or even cliché, but they are very true and are things I have needed to hear. And likely will need to hear again.

And yet, the hard thing about taking advice from successful career women though is that while I greatly admire them, being a successful career woman has never before been my goal.

I’m much too old to be having the existential crisis I am currently experiencing.

It's flu season

2011-11-09T21:06:00.002-05:00

So it’s flu season again. Runny noses, chills, fevers, sneezes, congestion, body aches. I’m looking over the list and putting checking them off, wrapping up in blankets and sipping on tea. It’s that time of year.

We all know what to do if you have the flu – get lots of rest, drink plenty of fluids (and sadly alcohol and caffeine don’t count and should even be avoided). You can try other things like hot baths or heating pads for muscle aches, gargling with warm salt water to ease a sore throat, or using vapour rubs or saline drops for a stuffy nose.
I usually avoid cold medications since these things typically mask the symptoms, leading you to believe you’re better than you actually are – thereby actually prolonging your sickness. But I did take a couple aspirin today for my sinus headache – and since I have some meetings tomorrow, will likely take a decongestant to get me through the day.

There are plenty of invitations around to get the flu shot. But in my experience, whether or not I have the shot doesn’t make much difference on whether or not I get sick. My likelihood of getting sick is much more related to the amount of stress and sleep deprivation I’m experiencing. I’m not making a statement against the flu shot here, just saying it hasn’t worked for me.

We do try to be pretty regular about hand washing – and I admit to having been a bit lax lately, for which I am perhaps now paying the price. But we do cover our mouths when we cough, sneeze into elbows, etc.

But I am also aware of what has been termed the “hygiene hypothesis”, the theory that the growing rate of allergies and asthma in younger populations is a result of children’s environments being too clean. The idea is that the presence of some germs allows a developing immune system to become robust, not overly sensitive to minor irritants like peanut proteins and dust. Call it tough love for an immune system. There are also those who argue that all of the antibacterial products so popular among consumers encourage superbugs –resistant strains of germs and bacteria.

Birthday girl

2011-11-08T22:21:00.002-05:00

I remember as a kid that birthdays meant being ‘queen for a day’. The birthday girl got to pick her meals and things to do; there was a birthday party, gifts... Lots of fuss and lots of anticipation.

I wrote yesterday about growing older and how age becomes less meaningful. It only makes sense that birthdays don’t seem like such a big deal either. Maybe after 36 of these, the 37th isn’t too exciting.

But all that said, it has been a very pleasant day. Overcoming time change, Miya slept till 7 a.m., which was a lovely present in itself. We then had our usual morning routine – me getting hot oatmeal into her and getting her ready for school before 8:30. She’s becoming so independent that she wants to do almost everything for herself, which requires its own type of patience, but is rewarding too.

After V left with M to drop her off at school on his way to work, I was able to relax with my coffee, take time with my shower, post some pictures on facebook, etc. before my mum picked me up for a brunch date at one of the best brunch places in Ottawa. Usually its way too busy on a weekend, but it was accommodating on a Tuesday morning.

Mum and I did a couple errands, then I was back home by around noon where I spent a few hours relaxing, crafting and knitting. I purposefully did no work – apart from replying to a few emails. Funny how its almost hard to avoid, like a junkie needing a fix. But by exerting some self discipline I was able to resist the urge.

One of things Mum gave me for my birthday was a Bridgehead coffee card (she knows me well). So in the afternoon, I left a bit early to pick M up from school and stopped to get a decaf latte as a birthday treat.

This evening, V took me out for a lovely dinner at Absinthe, a trendy bistro in our neighbourhood. We were joined by a good friend of mine, so it was great to get to catch up with her while enjoying a delicious meal.

Not getting any younger

2011-11-07T20:37:00.000-05:00

Tomorrow I will be... 37. Pause there while I did the math. Funny how age becomes almost meaningless as I get older. When I was younger I don’t think I could have imagined that at some point I would have to stop and think about how old I was, how old I would be turning on my next birthday.

I had a bit of a jolt the other day when I was listening to the radio and somebody mentioned a favourite song that came out in 1974 (the year I was born). ‘It’s almost 40 years-old,’ he said and I nearly drove off the road. I know that 40 is getting closer, but I still don’t think of myself as ‘almost 40’ quite yet.

While I don’t exactly feel like a spring chick, it does feel strange to be 37 tomorrow, especially with some recent changes in my life that have me practically starting over, career-wise. Seems a bit late in the game to be still trying to figure out what sport I want to play.

A while back I blogged about my indecision over what I should remove from my heaping plate. Since then, the decisions I have made have not been easy nor clear-cut.
A friend of mine said to me, “well, you have to look out for number one.”

“I don’t think of myself as number one,” I replied. And I’m not trying to sound all self-effacing in that statement. I just mean that a mother and wife, as someone committed to certain causes and efforts, it isn’t really clear who is number one, or even what that means. I truly believe that the path to happiness and fulfillment does not come from putting one’s own emotional needs or desires at the forefront.

But at the same time, I am learning through trial and error that there has to be a balance in meeting my own needs and in giving of myself to others. I wonder if anyone ever perfectly finds the balance in this – and if there is someone out there who has, please share your wisdom with me.

Still so much to learn – and I am not getting any younger.

A bad fall back plan

2011-11-06T21:26:00.000-05:00

Back in the spring, I blogged about how much I hated time changes. Well, here I am again, back on the same soapbox.

Sure, ‘fall back’ may be easier in some ways than ‘spring forward’ since supposedly we got to sleep an extra hour this morning. But there is no sleeping in for those with young children, children who don’t understand clocks and the division of time into 24-hours or the ridiculous war-measures act for supposedly saving daytime hours throughout winter.

Miya has a pretty good internal clock – one which I have encouraged through a well-developed routine of waking, eating and sleeping times. Young children thrive on predictability, familiarity and routine and it works pretty well for us to have her get up and go down at roughly the same time each day.

Until the clocks suddenly switch, that is.

Now, the girl who gets up at 7 a.m. is waking at 6. She is hungry for her lunch at 11, ready to fall asleep on her plate at 12 because she is usually in bed at this time. She can’t have a full nap because she her body is used to waking up between 2:30 and 3:00 – only now that means an hour less sleep. And by bedtime she is so over-tired that she didn’t know if she is coming or going, never mind what hour of day it is.

Time changes are, simply put, cruel to parents. And, in my prairie view, unnecessary.
How many of us really want our sunlight earlier rather than later in the day? Soon it will be light at 7:00 a.m., but dark at 5:00. Who does this work for? There are enough people already bummed out by lack of sun exposure – why are we making it harder on them to get some reviving rays? Vitamin D supplements and sun lamps can only go so far.

As someone for whom sleep does not come easily, and who is blessed with a similarly afflicted child, I wish we could follow the wise example of Saskatchewan and stop messing with our clocks.

My clock tells me it’s only 9:30 – but my body knows it’s much later. I’m going to bed.

Grandma Violet

2011-11-05T22:05:00.002-04:00

I wrote about one grandma yesterday, and then began thinking of the other one. When she passed away in 1998, the pastor giving the funeral sermon obviously had never known or met her. He delivered a some glib lines about grandmas being full of cuddles and home-baked cookies. That hadn’t been my grandmother and I resented his insincerity.

My grandma Violet was a strong, tough woman who I only really began to get to know toward the end of her life. Especially since I grew up in Nepal and saw little of my extended family for 10 years, I never felt like I really knew my grandparents. Sure there were plenty of visits, but little one-on-one, personal conversations.

It was only as I got older and my grandma was close to the end of her life, that I felt I was beginning to see her as a person, a complicated individual with her own history and intricate web of relationships, feelings and beliefs.

As her memory and health failed, I also felt like she let me in a little more too. She was fiercely independent – I certainly come by it honestly – and I could see that her weakness terrified her. People would show up at her house and she would snap at them – why didn’t you tell me you were coming?

‘We did tell you,’ they’d say and fear would dart across her face. Were they lying to her or had she forgotten? She’d defensively bristle and complain, but when they’d left she ask me to write things down for her.

I went to France for a year when my grandma was failing, but when I said good-bye I knew I’d see her again; I just knew I wouldn’t see her standing. I was able to see her again, to bring her fresh raspberries from her garden which she gratefully accepted even though she could only put them in her mouth, then spit them back out. I was able to tell her I loved her and say good-bye. I wished I’d had more time, as a growing woman just beginning to know the woman she was. But I am grateful for what I did have.

Grandma Edythe

2011-11-04T22:35:00.004-04:00

I got an early birthday card in the mail the other day from my 102 year-old grandmother. In her familiar, but shaky, handwriting is a little birthday greeting. I’m touched that she remembered and impressed, once again, at her strength. Her hearing has been slowly deteriorating for as long as I can remember and now she is almost deaf, but she is still bright and engaged, thoughtful and caring – and a whiz at Scrabble.

We took Miya out to Saskatchewan when she was about 5 months old, and she met her great-Grandma, who had then recently turned 100. It was amazing to look at the two of them and think that close to a century had passed between their births.

The youngest of four, my grandma Edythe was born in 1909 to Tomina and Engelbert, Norwegians who had moved to the northern United States with their families when they were teenagers.

Grandma liked to tell the story of how she came to Canada at the age of one.

Her father had gone ahead with agreement that his wife and children would follow some weeks later, giving him time to get a homestead ready. But things were much more difficult, the land less hospitable, and the costs higher than he’d expected. After arriving, he sent a letter to his wife to advise her to hold off on her trip. That letter never arrived.

As planned, Tomina set out later that year with her four young children in tow (ages, 6, 5, 3 and 1). Grandma would always remind us at this point in the story that back then there were no dining cars on trains and the young woman had to pack everything for her children’s needs and comforts.

Not expecting their arrival, Engelbert was not there to meet the train when they arrived. It took Tomina days to find someone in the town who had heard of her husband and was able to get word to him that his wife and children were anxiously waiting for him. They spent their first harsh winter on the Canadian prairies in a one-bedroom shack.

But they managed to survive and my grandma is a survivor to this day.

Bedtime stories

2011-11-03T22:40:00.003-04:00

A friend of mine suggested I blog examples of the bedtime stories I tell Miya. Perhaps she was hoping for imaginative adventure tales. But sadly, apart from the story of Goldilocks and the 3 bears, my little girl’s two favourite stories are roughly as follows (please bear in mind that she is 2 ½ years old and repetition and familiarity are very important).

Story #1 – Miya and the rocks.
Once upon a time there was a little girl named Miya. One day, she opened the back door of her house and went outside. She found 4 rocks. “These are beautiful rocks,” she said. “I think I’ll share them with my friends.”

So Miya put the rocks in her jacket pocket – 2 on one side, 2 on the other. Then she walked with her mommy down the driveway, onto the sidewalk, around the corner, up the street, past the park and to her friend Sophie Mala’s house. She walked up to the door and rang the doorbell. Ding-dong.

Sophie Mala opened the door. “Here is a rock for you,” Miya said.

“Thank you,” said Sophie Mala.

“You’re welcome.”

Then Miya and her mommy went down the street, around a corner and up the hill. They came to her friend her friend Gwyneth’s house. She walked up to the door and rang the doorbell. Ding-dong.

Gwyneth opened the door....

(I think you can imagine the rest. She takes rocks to two more friends and goes back home.)

Story #2: Chilly and her colourful feet

(This story is not much a narrative tale; it’s more about nailing down the description.)

Once upon a time there was a little girl named Chilly and she had colourful feet...
What colour are her feet? I ask Miya. She will deliberate and pick a colour, or two, or one colour with another colour of spots, or stripes or flowers... We then go on to describe Chilly’s socks, pants, skirt, shirt, jacket, hats and mitts. Then we talk about what Chilly likes to do with her colourful feet (walk, dance, jump, hop, climb).

To adults these may sound incredibly dull – but I’m sure early childhood educators would tell you why they’re big hits.

Would you like a Timbit with that latte?

2011-11-02T23:05:00.001-04:00

So Tim Horton’s is working on up scaling their coffee. They announced today that they’ll start selling lattes, cappuccinos and espressos at locations across Canada. Starting their prices at $2, Tim’s is aiming to keep their blue-collar roots but also steal office workers from places like Starbucks and Second Cup.

The only time I’m a regular Tim’s customer is when I’m on a road trip and I can’t say that I’ll be racing to the nearest Timmy’s to try their new wares. But I am a bit curious about what it would be like and certainly willing to give it a shot – especially the next time I make that requisite Canadian road trip stop at a highway Tim’s.

And I’m guessing that there are a lot of other people who, like me, will be willing to trying a slightly pricier drink next time they visit Tim’s – and I am probably exactly the demographic Tim’s is aiming for. Sure, they want to get some people to switch from Starbucks to Tim’s for their regular morning coffee – but they could likely also make a pretty penny if at least some of their customers up-scale their drink order.

Who knows, it might actually be good. If it is as tasty as a Starbucks latte, I would probably pick one up more often.

But while taste is a big factor for me in choosing where I go for my lattes – there are some other things I consider too. Fair trade and eco-friendly coffee production is a big one. One of the reason’s I’m a loyal Bridgehead customer is that all their coffee is fair trade – as is almost all the other stuff in their store too.

And another big thing is atmosphere. I love my local Bridgehead. I’ve been a regular customer there for so long that I know the first names of most of the staff (although there have been a bunch of new hires lately and I’m a bit behind). I also know a lot of the customers and going for coffee can be quite a social outing.

So I’m not likely to shift my loyalty anytime soon – but definitely appreciate what Tim’s is trying to do.

Bursts of productivity

2011-11-02T00:17:00.001-04:00

My feet are aching. It’s been a very long day and I was fool enough to wear heels for the latter part of it.

But I’m proud to say that I was part of a team that pulled off a successful fundraising event –and in an extremely short amount of time. The last few weeks have been a whirlwind of phone calls, emails, lists, meetings, strategizing. But we had around 100 people at our event – with live music, wine tasting and silent auction – and everything seemed to go really well.

I don’t know if I’m cut out for this kind of thing though. Light sleepers should not be event planners – I don’t know how many nights I’ve lain awake going over details and making mental notes about who I needed to get in touch with the next day. If I was woken in the night or early morning, my mind would immediately start running over my to-do list, holding sleep at bay.

So while it is wonderful to celebrate the success of the evening, it is also wonderful to celebrate being finished with organizing it. What didn’t get done, didn’t get done. What happened, happened. For example, we’d made up signs to put outside indicating where the entrance was – these were discovered all neatly rolled up at the end of the evening when the sound guy nearly loaded them into his van. Ah well. So they didn’t get up – nothing to do about that now.

But I was reminded of something tonight – that being super busy is like a sort of emotional shield. When I get this hectically busy – i.e. making a phonecall while I type an email while ironing my pants and sipping my coffee – I don’t have time to stop and think about how I feel about things. I don’t have time to get nervous about taking the mic and talking to a room full of people. I don’t have time to get shy around strangers.

I remember using this tactic in university. It produces short-term periods of intense productivity and suspended emotional response. Interesting and useful at times, certainly. But I’m quite happy to move back to a slower, reflective pace now.

More Halloween mulling

2011-10-31T22:22:00.003-04:00

Walking down the street this morning, thinking more about Halloween, I passed by a home decked out for the holiday. On the front lawn was a gravestone and skeleton. In front were skeletal bones made to look as if they were reaching out of the grave. Wondered how I would have explained it to my 2 year-old, had she been with me.

The Ottawa Citizen had a bit of explaining to do after running a front-page story in the Saturday paper suggesting that a fun thing to do for Halloween is to write “poison” on a plastic jar or bottle and fill it with candy for kids to eat. The accompanying picture showed a skull and crossbones similar to the symbol used to indicate poison – a symbol parents teach their children which means danger.

In their mea culpa, the Citizen recognized “the need to train children not to touch and never to eat or drink from bottles or jars with that symbol on it, and it was a lapse in judgment for us to have suggested otherwise.”

A student organization at Ohio University called Students Teaching Against Racism (STARS) created posters for their ‘We’re a culture, not a costume’ campaign. This campaign has generated a lot of response – both positive and negative. Some people say Halloween is a time to dress up and have fun and people should stop being so up-tight and sensitive. Others say that human dignity and respect should always be paramount.

“It’s hard to explain what is so wrong about being a geisha or a sheik for Halloween” writes Kristine Bui at Arizona University. “It’s unsettling. It’s a feeling I’ve always struggled to articulate – a discomfort that sort of just sits in the place between your heart and your stomach, quietly nagging. It’s a sense of being wronged without knowing exactly what was done to you.”

While apparently there are lots of people who don’t see what’s wrong with dressing up as a slutty geisha or a Middle Eastern terrorist for Halloween, there are others arguing that such caricatures perpetuate prejudice and are hurtful and offensive to people.

But where is the line between having fun and being offensive?

More tomorrow...

Is it offensive or just fun?

2011-10-30T22:38:00.003-04:00

When I was a kid, Halloween was a time to play dress-up and collect candy with friends. What could be better? There was the added thrill of getting to run around in the dark and go up to strange houses.

My parents kept us sheltered from much of the scary stuff that is associated with this holiday. There were no horror movies in our house and by the time I was old enough to choose to watch them, I wasn’t interested. I’ve never developed a taste for fear and violence as entertainment.

But not having developed such tastes, the appeal of Halloween was dulled as I grew out of the trick or treat stage and into the drunken party stage. The more I thought about, the more I found something about it to be a bit off-putting.

Part of Halloween’s historical roots is the November 1st All Saints’ Day and the preceding evening being one of debauchery and sin. Might as well have something to repent if you’re going to have to spend a day on your knees. So from a sort of cultural-anthropological viewpoint I can appreciate Halloween as a chance to explore dark desires and fantasies within predetermined boundaries. I can admit that it may be healthy and cathartic to try on roles and identities that, for good reasons, society has suppressed.

But even if that is what it is – a chance on one night of the year to dress up and be daring or naughty – does this mean I can’t find it troublesome? Perhaps by its very nature it should be troublesome.

On xojane.com, Emily argues that Halloween is a “holiday for sluts” and as good an excuse as any to “embrace your sexuality, flaunt your goodies and court sexual attention.” I’d like to point out that she is defending her choice to wear the ‘slutty nurse’ and the ‘Wonder Woman’ costume – and question whether playing up to male fantasies is really the best way to embrace one’s sexuality. Is this what feminine empowerment looks like - the right to walk into a party with your boobs hanging out of a cheap outfit dreamed up by a teenage boy?

To be continued...

Beaver vs. Polar Bear

2011-10-29T20:44:00.004-04:00

Odd how polar bears have become the theme of this week, but there it is. Now we have a motion by Conservative Senator Nicole Eaton to replace the beaver with the polar bear as Canada’s official emblem.

I just have to say at the outset – is this simply Eaton’s attempt to get 5 minutes of the spotlight? Recognizing that being a Senator is a thankless, mostly invisible, albeit well-paid job, maybe she was looking for something she could do that would put her name in the press. Or maybe she just has a thing for polar bears – or a vendetta against beavers.

She came out pretty strong against our official emblem, calling the beaver a “dentally defective rat”, a “toothy tyrant” and a “19th century has-been”. In contrast, she describes the polar bear as Canada’s “most majestic and splendid mammal”. Oddly, a little more than a year ago she stated in a speech that the beaver “fittingly occupies a prominent place on [Canada’s] coat of arms”. Perhaps since last June she had a run in with a hostile beaver.

While the government has stated that it has no intention of changing our national emblem (indeed, why would they want to draw any extra attention to the state of the polar bears and the northern ecosystem?) this story has gained some traction.

National Post Illustrator Steve Murray notes that the polar bear “lives in icy, snowy conditions” making it “ideal as a representative for Canada since we don’t get enough ice and snow jokes.”

Andrew Derocher, Biological Sciences Professor at the University of Alberta (shown in photo), pointed out in a debate on CBC’s ‘Power and Politics’ that people pay good money to go on tours to see polar bears, but who’s going to pay to drive around looking at beavers?

A Toronto Star editorial notes that it would be rather “hawkish” to adopt as an emblem an animal which eats its young, as opposed to the mate-for-life beavers who share responsibility for raising young.

I, for one, see no need to remove the beaver as emblem. I may be a big fan of polar bears, but let’s keep as our emblem our homely, industrial rodent.

Optimism & Pessimism

2011-10-28T21:28:00.002-04:00

In response to my depressing polar bears blog, I was given the question: "About what am I optimistic and pessimistic?" (inspired by a Marginal Revolution article). Question's a good one.

To frame the discussion, optimism is “a disposition or tendency to look on the more favourable side of events or conditions and to expect the most favourable outcome”. Pessimism is “the tendency to see, anticipate, or emphasize only bad or undesirable outcomes”.

1. As I expressed before, I am pessimistic about climate change. However, I am optimistic about the increased awareness of environmental issues and green living –such as the 100-mile diet, eco-transport, eco-audits etc. The cynic in me says it may be too little too late, but it is a positive development nonetheless.

2. I am pessimistic about current trends in criminal justice legislation in Canada. But I am optimistic that reason will prevail in the long term. Additionally, I am optimistic about increased global awareness of human rights and believe such awareness and mobilization will be a key factor in turning the tide in our approach to offenders and crime.

3. I am optimistic about science and research developments with regards to medical technology. Where I have concerns is with regards to how well our ethics keep pace with developments and the impacts of medical developments on human relationships (i.e. the implications of enabling a woman to give birth to sextuplets or of extending human life without being able to ensure quality of life).

4. I am optimistic about my daughter’s future. She has the world before her. That said, as for any parent, there are plenty of fears and concerns.

5. Despite bumps and detours in the road, I am optimistic that my career will advance, in some shape or form. I am also striving to be an optimist that I will become a published writer.

6. I am pessimistic about Canadian politics but encouraged by current grassroots mobilizations (i.e. Occupy Wall Street).

7. I am pessimistic about increasing media consumption – especially passive, uncritical consumption. I’m also pessimistic about the increase in time spent on media consumption as compared to the decrease amount of time spent on face-to-face conversations, outdoor activities, etc.

Reconnaissance mission

2011-10-27T22:39:00.002-04:00

Tonight I volunteered at the 31st Annual Auction for Reach Canada. Reach is a “cross-disability lawyer referral organization” that provides legal assistance to people with disabilities. The organization is a non-profit charity that raises almost all its own funds through a variety of special events.

I was there because I woman I greatly respect recommended I get connected with Reach – but also to learn how successful fundraising events work. I’m partly responsible for organizing a fundraising event next week which will include live music, wine-tasting and a silent auction. Having never organized such an event before, I’m a little nervous. Tonight was a great opportunity to learn from the pros.

Tonight’s event was both a live and a silent auction. Items up for the live auction included VIP box tickets for the Senators, round trip flights, dinner packages and – the item I most coveted – a Leonard Cohen painting! I asked the organizer if she got to talk to Leonard Cohen, but she said sadly it was just to someone who works for him.

The silent auction had a large range of items like paintings, prints, jewellery, wine, books and multiple gift certificates. I was working at some of the silent auction tables and also walked around the room selling 50/50 tickets.

There were bidding sheets for each item – with indications of the retail value for each item, the minimum bid and the increments at which people had to increase their bid. That I think could have been done better since there were a few people whose bids were disqualified just because they didn’t notice that and/or didn’t do the correct math.

The closing of the silent auction tables was staggered – some closed at 8:30, others at 9:00, others at 9:30. This can be helpful in that it prevents a massive rush at the cash handling table – and it also might encourage more people to bid on the later tables if they were out bid on some of the early ones.

But I learned tonight that it is really important to clearly indicate when each table closes since there were many people disappointed that they couldn’t bid – which ultimately means less revenue for the hosting organization.

Polar Bear Plight

2011-10-26T21:29:00.004-04:00

Global warming stories always depress me. They depress me to the point that instead of getting me fired up, I tend to feel overwhelmed and helpless. Sure, fighting for social justice during the reign of the Conservatives may seem like a lost cause – but compared to global warming, I feel that there’s at least something I can do.

But I cannot stop the rapid melting of glaciers and icebergs, the break-up of the Arctic, the rising of ocean levels and the steadily increased global temperature. Sure, I dry my clothes outside, compost my compostables, plant trees, park the car, support environmental organizations ... but these seem ludicrously small efforts when I look at things like the tar sands or big industry.

I tend to be an optimistic person and believe in the best in people. But it’s hard to be optimistic when thinking about global warming. So ironically, the fact that I care about this so deeply means I give it less thought.

But a news story today about climate change actually has a nice balance of the dire (polar bears are dying) with the positive (Coca-Cola is putting its muscle behind a campaign to help protect their home). Really, it’s only decent of them, seeing as they’ve capitalized on the polar bear image for so much of their advertising.

But it’s encouraging to see that over the next 5 years, Coke will donate up to $3 million to the World Wildlife Federation (although what does ‘up to’ mean??). I’m a big fan of WWF – and encourage anyone who may be approaching the holiday season with a desire to give gifts that matter to look at WWF’s wildlife adoptions.

Anyway, back to the polar bears, WWF will be focusing two efforts in the Arctic – one which is a series of conservation projects and the other which will try to identify the location of year-round Arctic ice which could become a sanctuary for polar bears. (Will they be sending doomed seals to the sanctuary too?)

Canada may also place the polar bear on its list of species at risk, which would require the government to develop plans to prevent them from becoming further endangered or extinct.

Painfully earnest prose

2011-10-25T22:54:00.001-04:00

So I put two entries into the Canada Writes twitter story contest tonight, one on my behalf, one on V’s.

Mine: “Words are like problems we never solved. Your kiss is the only thing about you that I can understand.”

V’s: “He stared. She sighed. They endured.”

You can tell I’m the English major, trying too hard. A funny post on the contest said: “Grade 11 English class called. They want their grating, painfully earnest prose back.” My own writing often seems very overly earnest to me.

But I am very tempted to turn these last 2 months of the 365-word blog slog into a twitter-length challenge instead. I never realized until this year just how very long 365 words can be. I think 140 characters are much more realistic. A tweet a day for a year – now that’s an idea. Is it too late to change?

Although truth be told, there have been many times this past year when I have intended to walk away from all social media entirely – no more email, facebook, twitter, blogs. If you want to talk to me, pick up the damn phone – or better yet, drop by.

Today I came home with Miya after picking her up at school to find a friend waiting for me in the driveway. What a lovely surprise. She came in and visited while I gave Miya dinner, then carried on her way home. That’s the way relationships should work – not by voyeuristically scrolling through random photos posted on the internet by friends of friends, or by exchanging long threads of ‘let’s get together sometime’ emails.

Sadly, life and work are what they are in this day and age and corner of the world that it would be unrealistic and perhaps almost impossible to remove myself from social media for a year - although I am very, very tempted. Maybe that could be next year’s challenge. ..

In the meantime, I want to thank all my readers for bearing with me through the ups and downs, the dull and the drunken, the inspired and the, well, not so inspired.

And if you are feeling generous – please send me a topic to write about.

So I think I'm stressed...

2011-10-24T23:04:00.000-04:00

Strange dream last night. I was getting ready to bed down on a thin air mattress in a tent I was sharing with another girl. We were on some military exercise. I noticed two rifles laid out on a little white coffee table on one side of the tent, so I guessed our exercise would involve some shooting on the range. I was thinking about how long it had been since I’d last handled a rifle and wondered if I remembered all the protocol.

At the next point in the dream I was in that odd omnipresent state often comes in dream states – where I could see myself but also see beyond where I was. I saw people coming down some hall to our room (it was now a room) and I knew they were coming to attack us. I tried to grab a rifle just as they burst through the door, but I seized the wrong end and fumbled with it. I also wasn’t sure if this was a real attack or some part of an exercise, so I didn’t really think I should shoot anyway.

I was huddled on the bed with my roommate and the attackers were leaning over us. One pointed her weapon at me and said ‘pow’ – so I knew that this wasn’t real. But at the same time, they were rather rough with us and I felt annoyed. I was thinking that this wasn’t much fun and after this weekend I was going to go back to my unit and quit the military. I saw a knife and made a half-hearted lunge for it – not knowing what I should do even if I did manage to grab it. How do you fight if you don’t know the rules? How do you defend yourself when you’re not sure if the attack is real?

We were kidnapped and herded down the hall with several other girls. I now figured that the exercise we had come on was to be about how to survive in some sort of P.O.W. environment. This wasn’t what I had bargained for and I was not impressed – but there didn’t seem much to do beside’s play along.

Felting delights

2011-10-23T20:27:00.008-04:00

I think I’ve found my calling. Give me some roving and a needle and I’m off.

Back in April I went to a felting workshop and had a lovely evening sculpting wool. I came home with a little felted rabbit and, on Easter morning, hid it in the tulips for Miya to find. I’d had so much fun that I meant to try it again, but it just kept slipping my mind.

But as I’m part of organizing a big silent auction for Nov 1, I contacted the woman who offered the workshop to ask if she’d be willing to donate a felted item or a felting kit. She generously did and when I picked it up, I also bought one of her kits to make crazy owls.

I had Miya with me at the time, and one the way home we stopped at a lovely wool store where I chatted about felting with the woman working there. I asked if she knew how to do wet-felting – something I’d heard about but never tried. She told me that basically it involved rubbing wool under warm soapy water under the fibers bind together – something even a child can do.

My daughter loves playing with water and soap, so this seemed like the perfect craft. We bought some more wool and came home with our loot. Before long we were wet felting away and Miya loved it. We made three little balls that night –even continuing the felting during her bath that night.

Since that was so easy and fun, after she was in bed I took out a needle and made a little owl. He’s a bit wacky looking, but has grown on me.

There was enough roving (bundles of wool fibre that has not been spun into yarn) for two owls, but I made a penguin instead.

Today we were back at the wool store so I could pick up some white, red and grey – and tonight I made a little Santa.

Felting basically involves sculpting wool by stabbing it with a little needle – a very satisfying motion and the results are amazingly quick. I’m even trying to convince V to give it a whirl....

Books: Intimate Strangers

2011-10-22T19:50:00.002-04:00

Intimate Strangers: The letters of Margaret Laurence & Gabrielle Roy is a lovely little book which affords a personal and touching glimpse into the lives of two of Canada’s most respected and loved authors.

Laurence and Roy had never met when they began corresponding in 1976. Laurence humbly initiated the correspondence after hearing that Roy was interested in meeting her. The connection between the two authors was immediate.

Though Roy was 15 years older than Laurence, both writers were in a similar position when they began writing. Laurence had just received the Governor General’s Award for The Diviners and Roy was would receive the same award, French category, a few years later for Ces enfants de ma vie.

Yet despite their success as authors, both women were struggling with the realization that their creative energies were being drained by various demands and weakening health. Laurence in particular was very saddened that she could not write another novel. “I still have not found my way into the novel I want to write,” she writes. “Patience is difficult for me, and I am fed up with making false starts at it.”

Roy encourages her friend. “Don’t tear up the pages of your new book. Let them rest away from your eyes for some time.”

In addition to sharing their challenges as writers, the women share in their letters a love of the prairies from which they both came (both were born in Manitoba), their shared affection for rivers and nature, and their concerns about Canadian and Quebec politics.

Laurence and Roy met only once – at a conference in Calgary two years after their correspondence began. Yet their friendship deepened through their letters and their mutual respect of each other’s writing. Much of the correspondence is filled with thoughtful praise of the other’s work. When the French translation of Laurence’s The Diviners came out in 1980, Roy was quick to assure her that the translation was true. “You can rest your mind, dear Marguerite, [the translations] are done with uncanny feeling and talent.”

Intimate Strangers is a book of only 32 letters, yet is rich in its depth, sincerity and wisdom. I feel privileged to have read it.

Morning commute

2011-10-21T22:45:00.000-04:00

A young woman, coming down the steps of her apartment building, turns to see her cat peering at her from the top step.

A baby sits on her mother’s lap. In the seat ahead of them a woman is wearing a red hat with a long tassle. The baby can’t resist grabbing the dangling string.

A man, going for a morning jog, passes a woman he sees daily but has not yet mustered to courage to address.

A father walks with his son to the bus stop. They are on their way to the boy’s first day in a new school.

...

The woman races to catch the bus and reach the office on time. But she worries about the cat – which is an indoor pet and which has never spent the day outside. She hopes it won’t rain.

The mother apologizes profusely, returns the hat to the other passenger and turns the baby to face the back of the bus. The baby begins to cry.

The jogger stops and busies himself adjusting the laces on his shoe, glancing up to see the woman walking down the street toward him. He ties and unties the laces, hoping to untie his tongue as well.

The boy silently follows his father. The third school in as many years. His stomach aches.

....

The woman sits on the bus, looking at the picture of her cat on her phone and debating whether she could take an extended lunch break and come back home. She imagines life without her cat and is embarrassed by a sudden rush of tears.

The mother and baby get off the bus, 10 blocks from their stop. Both are red in the face. The baby is soon distracted by a passing garbage truck. The mother’s arms start to ache.

The jogger stands as the woman approaches. He smiles at her and opens his mouth to say hello. She looks at him, looks through him, and turns her head before he can speak.

The father leads the way into the principal’s office and talks privately for a few moments with the school administrator. The boy is given his schedule and directed to his first class.

Dance your PhD

2011-10-20T23:16:00.002-04:00

All day, the news has been dominated by the death of Moammar Gadhafi in Libya. I find this story, the reactions of people around the world, disturbing and sad for so many reasons... but I didn’t really want to blog about all that.

So I was looking around for something else, something a little more uplifting. Sure, there’s the feel-good story about thousands of penguin sweaters pouring into New Zealand, but I kind of covered that yesterday... then I found: Dance Your PhD.

A Canadian scientist, Queen’s University biologist Emma Ware, just won an international award for expressing, in modern dance, her doctoral thesis on “how responses from female pigeons affect mating displays from the males”.

The video is actually really cool –and convincingly explains what Ware is studying, how her study is conducted and her hypotheses. The dancing is very skilled and artistic.

Another Canadian student made the cut for the competition. Erin McConnell is a Carleton University biochemist whose thesis examines DNA Aptamers as a tool for studying mental health disease. While her dance video lacks the skill and artistic presentation of Ware’s (the latter actually being a dancer), it looks like a lot of fun. She claims that her friends have told her that since watching the dance video, they finally understand what she does. Frankly, it’s not as convincing as the Ware video – but I love the idea of turning a thesis into a dance.

The international competition has four categories: physics, chemistry, biology and social science. Winners were selected by a jury of scientists and professional dancers and received a prize of $500 US, with one taking home an additional $500 for overall best PhD dance performance and a trip to Brussels for the Tedx conference.
So I’m thinking about my friends who have PhDs – and tossing out the challenge. How would you dance your dissertation?

Sadly, my master’s thesis on urban violence would have likely produced a pretty ugly dance. It probably wouldn’t have been too hard to imagine it as a movement piece, given that it is about human relationships and conflict. But I am in no way claiming that I could dance it – knit it perhaps... (-:

If you knit a penguin a sweater...

2011-10-19T22:29:00.005-04:00

In the last couple days, friends have been sending me links to the sites requesting knitted sweaters for penguins. It sounds like a joke, but it is actually true.

A recent oil spill off the New Zealand coast has dumped 350 tonnes of oil into the Bay of Plenty – and could leak as much as 1,700 if the ship breaks apart before the rest of its load can be pumped out. Maritime authorities are racing to rescue local wildlife – including many little blue penguins who are being covered in oil.

This is not the first time little penguins who live near Australia and New Zealand have been threatened by oil spills. Spills and dumped crude can be fatal to these little birds since the oil breaks down the penguins' natural insulation and the birds swallow the petroleum when trying to clean themselves off.

However, penguins exposed to oil can be rescued and cleaned by hand with warm water and mild detergent – but they are often sick when they're found and the cleaning process is quite stressful.

So penguins waiting to be cleaned – or recovering from being cleaned – can be protected by being sheathed in a cozy wool sweater which will keep them warm until their feathers insulate them again. The wool also keeps them from ingesting petroleum when preening.

Not surprisingly, appeals for protective penguin sweaters has gone global and viral. When the Tasmanian Conservation Trust issued an appeal in 2001 for penguin sweaters, they hoped to be able to create a stockpile of about 100 sweaters (or jumpers as they call them). They have received over 15,000 and have since closed the project.

Snopes has verified that this is a legitimate appeal – but warns that appeals can often go very wrong and in this case the road to hell could be paved with good... sweaters.

However, the idea of knitting a little sweater to potentially save the life of a little blue is, admittedly, very tempting. So I fired off an email to a yarn store in New Zealand that put out a call for sweaters to check if they do indeed still need sweaters, I mean jumpers. If they do, I’ll start knitting.

Intimate Strangers

2011-10-18T22:29:00.001-04:00

I borrowed a book from the library titled Intimate Strangers: The Letters of Margaret Laurence and Gabrielle Roy.

When I was flipping through it today, a piece of paper tumbled out. On the top of one side is a short type-written paragraph in French about Roy’s book Rue Deschambault. Beneath is a beautiful cursive script, again in French, with an overview of the book and comments about reading Intimate Strangers and finding their friendship quite funny.

The note isn’t signed and appears to be incomplete. It ends with a question – written below and with a different pen – comment ‘y prendre quelqu’un. This question, translated literally as ‘how to take someone’ has to do with the perceptions we make of someone, the way we feel after a meeting.

How to take an anonymous note left in a library book? I love that it’s there. I like this glimpse into the thoughts of someone – even though I don’t know whose thoughts I’m glimpsing. But if I could guess from the handwriting, I’d definitely say it’s an older woman since the penmanship is quite lovely.

I enjoy lending books to friends and often encourage them to write some comments down when they return it – or leave a bookmark in the book. I like to create bookmarks from things lying around when I’m reading – photos, notes, ticket stubs, etc. which I then leave in the book after putting it back on the shelf (books I own that is). When I open the book again, these bookmarks hold memories of the last time I opened these pages. I have a few books with an additional bookmark from a friend – another layer which I enjoy.

I’m now quite tempted to leave behind little notes in books I borrow from the library – or maybe even a photo with some musing jotted on the back. I wonder if a librarian would remove these? Perhaps I’ll need to be subtle, to sneak it in there. Would someone else enjoy it – or would it be tossed out without a glance. Regardless, I think I’ll give it a try. There may just be someone else out there who, like me, enjoys the camaraderie of written words.

Day for the Eradication of Poverty

2011-10-17T22:43:00.003-04:00

Today is the International Day for the Eradication of Poverty. Sadly, that does not mean poverty was eradicated on this day in history. There is still a long way to go before that will happen.

One of the struggles faced by people advocating for the poor is that there is no common definition of poverty or standards by which comparisons can be made. And if you can’t measure the problem, it becomes harder to come up with solutions.
And yet, there is no denying that there is a problem.

Organizations such as Make Poverty History claim that more than three million people in Canada live in poverty, including more than 630,000 children – which is one in ten. At the Ottawa Food bank, 37% of 43,000 people they serve each month are children. In Canada’s First Nations communities, one in four children lives in poverty.

Poverty doesn’t just mean being unable to afford new clothes and a car. It means hunger, lack of educational opportunity, lack of access to adequate health care and recreation. It means substandard housing, insecurity, uncertainty.

There is a private member’s bill before Parliament – Bill C-233: An Act to Eliminate Poverty in Canada – which would bind the federal government to a long-term commitment on ending poverty and building a strategy through consultation with provinces, territories, cities, Aboriginal communities, and organizations. Unfortunately, most private member’s bills do not become law – especially when coming from the opposition in the face of a majority government.

As I mentioned, the lack of standards for defining poverty make the problem hard to measure. While there are many who say that poverty looks different across the country or between cities, towns and rural communities, there is agreement that more sharing of knowledge is needed to fully understand and address poverty in all its manifestations and complexities.

What can you do to eradicate poverty?

Support groups like Make Poverty History and the Dignity for All campaign. Sign up for their newsletters and lend your support when they call for targeted action.

Support your local food bank. Even dropping the odd can of soup or jar of peanut butter into the bin when you’re out shopping can make a difference.

Curling season begins

2011-10-16T21:28:00.004-04:00

Today I dug out my silk long underwear from the bottom dresser drawer, donned a pair of woollen socks and unearthed my curling shoes. Another curling season has begun. On Sunday mornings I curl with Saskatchewan Mafia. I kid you not.

I am not by any stretch an avid curler. I have curled on and off for probably about 5 years now, but this is with non-competitive teams and my seasons have been interrupted by such things as injury, pregnancy and child care.

I do, however, enjoy the game. Or is it a sport? At the level I play, it seems more like a game. Sure, I have some muscles that will likely be stiff tomorrow, but I didn’t break a sweat or significantly raise my heart rate. And how can something for which beer drinking and sweeping are integral parts be considered a serious sport?

Whatever it is, sport or game, there are several things I find very appealing about it.

For one, unlike with many sports, when I curl I don’t have the feeling that I likely peaked in my abilities 10 years ago and will just steadily decline from this point on. For example, when I play basketball I feel old and broken. I can’t keep up with the 20-somethings racing around the court, my knee injury flares up, my shoulder aches... I know that even if I were to start playing basketball daily, I'd never become good enough to even play at a college level again.

Curling however, is not reserved for the young and super fit. Sure, at the top levels the curlers have to be in pretty good shape to stay on top of their game. But it’s nice to know that my game is likely to improve over the years, especially if I work at it, not steadily worsening until it becomes embarrassing to show my face. There are seniors at curling clubs who show up youngsters all the time.

Secondly, I like how social curling is. When I went to the club this morning, I was greeted with hugs and handshakes from other curlers – many of whose names I couldn’t remember. A fun group. An enjoyable morning.

Complicit silence?

2011-10-15T22:40:00.002-04:00

Am I missing something? I am failing to be a part of the movement which will define 2011? Or am I, like most, confused about what this ‘Occupy’ movement is all about, and thus continued to go about my day as normal, despite the calls for protesters in our city centre.

Demonstrators gathered in cities across Canada today as part of the global spread of the ‘Occupy Wall Street’ movement which began last month. Close to 3,000 in Vancouver, another 3,000 in Toronto.... thousands of others around the world. They march into financial districts and city centres, holding signs opposing capitalism, climate change, oppression, lack of political transparency, etc. With no clear purpose or endgame, it is grouping of the diverse disgruntled.

I share many of the concerns of the demonstrators. I believe that our political system needs to be more transparent and representative. I think the interests of the rich far too often trump the needs of the poor. I think climate change is not being addressed with the urgency it deserves because politicians are too afraid and corporations too greedy.

And yet I was not among the crowd of demonstrators today.

Perhaps if I did not have a young child in my care, I would have been – attracted as much by curiosity as from a sense of power or necessity. But it did not seem prudent to take my child into a large crowd which could have potentially come into conflict with police.

Still, I wondered as I went about my day with my little girl –having a latte and a slice of poppy seed loaf at the café, buying pyjamas and leggings in the mall, driving to the suburbs to pick up a pumpkin from a pumpkin patch – have I become too comfortable? too indifferent? Do I think I’m too good to join the movement until they become focused? My time too important to spend with a rabble of frustrated citizens who are taking to the streets in a hope that their voice might actually be heard, that their message might penetrate into the chambers of commerce, business and politics?

Is my silence so loud that it drowns out all their cries?

Don't hire me to plan your wedding

2011-10-14T22:20:00.001-04:00

I was thinking the other day about what I would say if asked that common interview question – ‘what are your weaknesses as a professional?’

Of course, there is the ol’ – ‘well, I’m just too much of a perfectionist that can’t accept anything until it’s perfect’. But that one can be seen through pretty easily.

If I were to be more honest, perhaps I would talk about something I’ve come to understand more about myself in this last week.

In many ways I am cautious –like when it comes to relationships and opening up to someone. But in many other ways, I like to dive into something and assume that things will work out.

For example, I love travelling without a plan. To me, a key part of the adventure and the fun of getting away from everything is to go somewhere and discover. I love leaping with faith and discovering what will catch me. I don’t even mind some bruises when, at times, I fall.

I also tend to be a ‘big picture’ person – much more interested in puzzling existential questions and human motivations then I am with organizing details.

The combination of these two characteristics does not, it turns out, make me a good event coordinator. I’d be a terrible wedding planner. Not only would I not understand why the couple couldn’t embrace some spontaneity, but I’d fail to appreciate why someone would care very much about the precise colour of the linens or want plan every moment of the day.

But of course, if I was sitting in a job interview, I couldn’t say I’m terrible at details and would rather just be backpacking around the world. I’d have to talk about how I’ve learned to strengthen my weaknesses... and I sincerely believe I have.

For one, admitting the problem is always the first step. I know that the small details are not my forte. But I’ve also learned to work with others for whom the details are extremely important – both to learn from them, and to learn how to work with them. And after the week I’ve just had, I have a whole list of ways I’m learning to do just that.

Handheld (micromanagement) devices

2011-10-13T22:24:00.003-04:00

In case you hadn’t heard, the world ended this week. Well, at least according to Blackberry users and abusers around the world who suddenly found themselves without service. And while buses continued to run, children still got dressed and went to school, the earth stayed on its axis – you wouldn’t think so to hear some of the wails of dismay from RIM clients.

‘When I leave the office, I can’t get check any of my email.’
‘I can’t google something on the fly. I do all my research at the last minute and I didn’t have access to the internet.’
‘I don’t know how to get in touch with anyone.’
‘I had to use the phone. It was horrible!’

This a sampling of the comments I’ve heard in news stories. People are genuinely distraught that they could not be wired to the internet for every minute of their day. Sure, they could still access the internet and their emails in the office – but not on the commute to the office!!!

IMHO, Blackberries have turned the world into micromanagers and I for one would be greatly relieved if everyone could take two steps back from whatever device hooks them to the internet, like a junkie to a drug, and think for just one minute about why this was such a catastrophe.

I’ll tell you why. It’s because they could not be part of every conversation and oversee every detail of their operations. If email is the seed of micromanaging, then handheld devices are the genetically modified super foods which wreak havoc on surrounding ecosystems.

I’ve been on a lot of planning committees lately and I am a daily witness to email micromanaging. It’s not just that people want to be kept abreast of developments by being cc’ed on emails – but they want to weigh in too. And cc’s are like bunnies. They multiply exponentially - bringing with them multiple new opinions. What happened to one or two people taking responsibility for something and having private conversations between the two of them (possibly even on the phone!)?

We are surrendering our privacy, individuality and the power and responsibility to make our own decision without even a fight.

Miss Representation

2011-10-12T22:27:00.001-04:00

A friend posted a link on facebook today for a trailer of the movie ‘Miss Represenation’ – a film which “exposes how American youth are being sold the concept that women and girls’ value lie in their youth, beauty and sexuality.”

I reposted the link since I agreed with what I watched. Yes, the media represents a very narrow view of women, and of what it means to be a successful woman. Yes, sex and the objectification of women’s bodies is a massive and pervasive marketing trend. Yes, young girls are bombarded with these images and many fall short in their own eyes when they compare themselves to the standards set by the media.

These things are all rather grim, but sadly, none of it was surprising.

I’ve heard these arguments for years. So while I support any effort to empower girls and women and to challenge destructive gender stereotypes, I’m discouraged that we are still having to make the same pleas.

I know that feminism has made some progress. There are those who say we’ve moved beyond feminism into some sort of post-feminist state or some sort of third-wave feminism. So we can vote, but does that mean we’re equal. When you look at the number of women who are involved in high political and corporate positions, you realize that there is a long way to go in overcoming the gender divide.

For example, a study published in Canada in 2009 found that women who work full-time, year-round earn only 71 cents for every dollar earned by men and women account for 60% of minimum wage workers.

Additional factors such as raising children alone or being a senior dramatically increase women’s likelihood of poverty. Women are also more likely than men to have no job security or benefits.

And then there’s the whole issue that Miss Representation is getting at: young people, girls and boys, receive a loud and constant message that women are valued for their beauty and sex appeal – all other accomplishments and strengths are distant second to these.

True change takes generations. I hope that when Miya is my age a film like ‘Miss Representation’ will not still be relevant or necessary.

Conversations with my daughter, part ii

2011-10-11T22:07:00.002-04:00

It happened literally over-night – Miya has entered a new and dreaded stage of toddlerhood. And no, I don’t mean that she has started throwing tantrums or demanding to dress up as a princess everyday. She has discovered the ‘Why?’ question.

I recently read that two-year-olds ignore things they don’t understand. Our daughter didn’t get that memo. Sure, I did notice for awhile that if we talked about things she didn’t follow she’d sort of tune out and look away. Then about a month or so ago she would interrupt me if I was talking to someone else and she couldn’t follow the conversation. “What mommy saying?” she’d ask. She was very aware when she wasn’t understanding something – and she didn’t like it.

But she has now moved from wanting us to repeat something to asking that question that parents come to dread. Why?

She had been asking a few random ‘whys?’ and ‘whats?’ this last week, but this past weekend I went into her room when she woke up crying around 6:30 a.m.

“Mommy, you are wearing your sleeping pants,” she said, “Why?”
“Because I was sleeping.”
“Why?”
“Because it’s night.”
“Why?”
“Because the sun went down.”
“Why?”
“Because the earth turns.”
“The earth! We live on the earth!” Pause. “Mommy is going to the kitchen.”
“No, I’m going to go back to bed.”
“Why?”
“Because I want to sleep.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m tired.”
“Why?”
“Aren’t you tired, my love?”
“No.” (Obviously.)

Thus it begins, I thought. And short of starting to cart around an encyclopaedia and the patience of Job, we’re going to need a survival strategy.

V has so far managed to stump her by proclaiming her why? an invalid question. She considered this and turned away. (Perhaps there is still some of that ‘ignoring what they don’t understand’ left in her.)

I’ve tried creating a loop.
“Time to go to sleep.”
“Why?”
“Because it’s night time?”
“Why?”
“Because it’s time to go to sleep.”
She quickly loses interest.

I’ve also tried throwing the question back at her – the good ol’ “Why do you think?”

Or there’s the limit setting – you can ask 3 more ‘whys’.
Bet you can guess the next word.

Thanksgiving

2011-10-10T22:14:00.002-04:00

What a gorgeous Thanksgiving weekend! It’s been a weekend of warm sunny days and brilliant fall colours. I love this time of year and this weekend was autumn at its showiest.

With a busy toddler and busy lives, there wasn’t much time to prepare a big Thanksgiving dinner, but we did manage to get a nice meal on the table for Miya, her parents and her grandma – a recent and very welcome arrival to Ottawa.

As is our custom, we went around the table saying what we are grateful for. As usual, those expressing thanks seem to feel uncomfortable doing so, so the tone is light, almost mocking, masking sincerity and heart-felt emotion. But despite how we may fail to clearly articulate our gratitude, I think we really are. I know I am.

I am thankful for family – for my amazing, beautiful, expressive, curious, funny little girl. She is the joy of my life and in the course of her yet so short life, has managed to completely change mine. I’m thankful for my devoted, quirky, brilliant husband and the safe arrival of my lovely mother to Ottawa – who already has and will enrich our lives (and offer invaluable free babysitting!).

I’m thankful that, even though I don’t always act on it, I know that I have friends I can call when I really need someone to talk to. And thankful that I have many to call on for play dates and many whose company at parks and playgrounds has brought friendship and laughter to the last couple years.

I am thankful that I am building a career, through fits and starts, in a field I value and with people I respect. I’m even grateful for all the bumps along the road this last year – I have learned more from the problems than I have from the times of smooth sailing.

I am also deeply and respectfully thankful for the privileges and prosperity I enjoy. Though we may stress and crunch numbers, I am repeatedly struck by how fortunate we are in the place and time we live in. I cannot say I don’t, although I never wish I would, take this bounty for granted.

Books: The Tomorrow-Tamer

2011-10-09T20:46:00.003-04:00

Although Margaret Laurence is best known for penning the Manawaka series (most particularly The Stone Angel), she actually began writing fiction set in Africa, not in small-town Manitoba.

From 1950 until 1957, Margaret Laurence and her husband lived in Somalia and Ghana. She approached this time in Africa with a writer’s curiosity and her keen sense of observation. In Somalia she fostered relationships with locals and expats so as to understand and ultimately translate Somali poetry – which became her first published book: A Tree for Poverty.

The Tomorrow-Tamer is set in Ghana around the time of the country’s independence from British colonialism. In a series of 10 short-stories, Laurence explores the themes of freedom, change, belonging and foreignness. Though aware of the risks she took, she boldly chooses to write not just from the foreign perspective, but from the perspectives of Africans, male and female, young and old.

For those who know the Manawaka series, you probably know how true the characters are. The characters of Hagar and Morag are so vividly real to me when I read about them. Their voices, through Laurence, are hauntingly real.

Not surprisingly, this authenticity doesn’t come through in the Tomorro-Tamer’s short-stories, although there are certainly glimmers of it. Indeed, one can see the development of Laurence as a writer in comparing this early work to her later novels. The vivid descriptions and details are there, but she is not able to fully inhabit her characters the way she did in her later work.

Laurence was aware of these shortcomings. “I actually wonder how I ever had the nerve to attempt to go into the mind of an African man,” she mused in a later essay, “and I suppose if I’d really known how difficult the job I was attempting, I would never have tried it.”

Yet despite some weaknesses, these stories are still valuable – both as insight into Laurence and her young, yet very evident, talent, and to the socio-political context which she describes. Africa was under-going rapid transformations and Laurence, as a keenly observant outsider, offers a rich, if flawed, perspective on these changes and the tension between modernization and tradition, belonging and foreignness, home and away.

26 uses for a paperclip

2011-10-08T21:33:00.003-04:00

I have heard that a measure of divergent thinking is how many uses one can come up with for a paperclip.

So, to test my own divergent thinking, the following is my list:
1) Keep papers together (get the obvious one out of the way first).
2) Attach cards and/or photos to a ribbon – like at Christmas time.
3) Temporarily replace a broken zipper.
4) String colourful ones together as decorations for a Christmas Tree.
5) When I was in Grade 8 there was a fleeting trend in my class of making little bracelets out of coloured paper clips and sharing them with friends.
6) Use a chain of paperclips to hold up a tarp when caught in a rainstorm (if you happen to have a large container of paperclips and a tarp handy).
7) Keep some keys together or identify a key.
8) Clip on into a paper airplane and use it + a rubber band to get extra height and distance.
9) Use them as pretend money in a pretend store when playing with children.
10) Wear them as earrings.
11) Use them like hair clips to keep hair out of your eyes.
12) Re-attach a broken-off arm of a pair of glasses or sunglasses.
13) Scrape off nail polish.
14) Clean under your fingernails.
15) Scrape the inside of a faucet or some other hard to reach place.
16) Pick something out of your teeth.
17) Keep a bag closed.
18) Attach a grocery list to your husband’s wallet or backpack.
19) Fix a broken purse strap.
20) Fix a broken bra strap.
21) Use one to help thread a cord through something like a hoodie (a big safety pin works better, but a paperclip will do in a pinch).
22) Mark your place in knitting
23) Secure the ends of thread or yarn so you can braid or twist them.
24) Poke out the bit of coffee grounds that got stuck in the little air hole of your travel mug.
25) Punch a hole in a piece of paper or cardboard so you to pass a string through – i.e. for hanging.
26) Use as a bookmark in the book you’re reading.

Kienan's return: a positive crime story

2011-10-07T22:11:00.002-04:00

Very encouraged to read a positive story relating to criminal justice. Lately I’ve been so caught up with the omnibus bill and all of its misguided legislation that it’s easy to get cynical and discouraged.

So it was nice to read a story about the parents of the little boy who was abducted in B.C. and see an example of compassion and meaningful encounters.

In case you don’t know, last month a three-year old boy was abducted from his bed at home in Sparwood B.C. The parents made a public appeal for his return and to everyone’s astonishment, little Kienan was returned unharmed.

The parents do not think he was harmed emotionally or physically.

The man accused of kidnapping Kienan was found not long after and is being held in prison until his trial.

What is so striking and encouraging about this story is not just the safe return of the boy, but also that his parents asked to meet with their son’s kidnapper and were allowed to do so.

Shortly after the man had been arrested, Kienan’s parents had a face to face conversation with him at the local RCMP station where they were able to ask the questions weighing on their mind and “talk it through”.

The father credits his strong Christian faith with his ability to meet with, and forgive, his son’s abductor.

This is a lovely story of compassion, but it is also a great illustration of how justice could become more meaningful for victims. Most victims of crime are plagued with questions, yet very few will have the chance to express these questions to the perpetrator of the crime and get some closure from that.

While certainly it would not be possible or advisable to have victim/offender encounters arranged following every arrest – the fact that in this case there was a positive encounter is encouraging. I commend the Herbert family for their courage, strength and compassion. And I commend their local RCMP office for seeing the value in the encounter and allowing it to happen.

“What does vengeance do,” Kienan’s father asked. “Anger feeds anger and hate feed hate.”

In so many way’s Kienan’s story is one of beautiful hope.

Busy news day

2011-10-06T21:49:00.003-04:00

For once there is plethora of choice when I sit down to blog.

First, there is the death of Steve Jobs, co-founder of Apple and revolutionary of modern technology and communications. This, of course, is V’s recommended topic for the day. But I admit that I know little about Jobs. I own a used ipod but have otherwise never swung over the Mac side. Unlike my husband, I have never followed an Apple product unveiling live and participated in the immediate ensuing internet chatter.

Second, the Ontario provincial elections results are rolling in as I type. It’s interesting watching these results and feeling very little emotional engagement with them. Sure, I will be disappointed if we see yet another Conservative victory, but this isn’t exactly a nail-biter for me.

But it was only a few months ago when I was watching a similar screen fill up with the federal results and my initial joy at seeing the results from Quebec was steadily dampened, then squelched, then ground into dust, by the Conservative majority victory.

As I write the Liberals are hanging on to the lead, but the numbers are going up and down and it looks like the race will be as predicted, too close to call till the end.

Third, the federal Conservatives finally put some cost estimates forward with regard to the Omnibus Crime Bill. However, their estimates take into consideration only 2 of the 9 bills which make up this mega-legislation, since they claim that the other 7 won’t result in any federal costs. How is that possible when one of the bills they refuse to estimate costs for will see conditional sentencing massively restricted? Keeping someone in prison is 3.7 times more expensive than maintaining them in the community (i.e. half-way houses and house arrest) - $109,699 per year vs. $29,476 per year.

The cost estimates Ministers Nicholson and Toews gave to the reviewing committee today project federal expenditures of $78.6 million over 5 years. But this seems ridiculously low – to me just one more example of their smoke and mirrors tactics.

Parliamentary budget officer Kevin Page who is currently reviewing the omnibus bill thinks the costs will exceed $3 billion.

Fire at Earnscliffe

2011-10-05T22:06:00.002-04:00

Last night a blaze broke out in Earnscliffe, the official residence of the British High Commissioner. Firefighters rushed to the scene and were able to contain the blaze to the attic – although there was extensive water damage and walls and ceilings were ripped up.

I’ve been working at Earnscliffe for more than 5 years and was supposed to be serving at a dinner there tomorrow night.

The High Commissioner, his wife and new little puppy are staying with friends for now. It will likely be quite some time before the High Commissioner and his wife can move back in. Apparently the house is quite a mess – especially from water and smoke damage - although the firefighters did save the extensive art collection and many other valuables.

The High Commissioner, Andrew Pocock, sounds quite optimistic about it all. “"Standing on the lawn last night watching flames lick through the roof, I was very concerned,” he told the press, “but this morning, in the light of a pretty Ottawa autumn day I can report that Earnscliffe is very solid, very much still here."

He added that the British Government is committed to fully restoring the heritage building.

Earnscliffe, a National Historic Site of Canada, is a beautiful house built in the 1855 by the same man who built Rideau Hall, the Governor General’s residence. In a style called Pinwheel Gothic, it has a steep metal roof, and ornate woodworking on the exterior and interior. The house looks over the Ottawa River, has beautiful large rooms with high ceilings, chandeliers, fireplaces, etc. I enjoy working receptions there and seeing the awed faces of guests who are visiting for the first time.

Sir John A. Macdonald bought the house in 1883 and lived there during the years he was Prime Minister until his death in 1891. The main guest bedroom is the room he died in. A little morbid, but very historic.

The Canadian government considered buying Earnscliffe in 1930 for the official residence of the prime minister, but the prime minister at the time, R. B. Bennett, decline the offer. So the house was bought by the British government instead, for the official residence of the High Commissioner.

To phone or not to phone, that is the question

2011-10-04T21:42:00.002-04:00

Do you ever wish you could jump ahead 10 years just to check the answer to some question that’s bugging you? I’m not talking about wanting to find out if you’ll get rich and famous or win the lottery. In this case, I’m talking about cell phone use.

This week, Health Canada came out with a slightly modified position on cell phones: they encourage parents to limit the amount of time kids under 18 spend talking on them. I’m sure there are plenty of parents of teenagers rolling their eyes at this – charting it up with 8 hours of sleep each night and 7 servings of fruit and vegetables. Good luck with that.

What bugs me is how inconclusive the whole debate on the cell phone /cancer link is. This is where I wish I could skip ahead 10 or 15 years and I swear the only thing I will do is check for what the science and evidence-based studies have found.

Perhaps by then this will be a forgotten issue. Cell phones will have evolved in some way we can’t even imagine now and this whole debate will be a relic of the dark ages. Remember how afraid people used to be of cell phones? Did they think people on television were looking at them too? Were they worried that typing on computers could cause finger cancer??

Or perhaps in 10 years it will be obvious that sustained exposure to radio frequency messes with our body systems – and people in the future will shake their heads at our stupidity, just like how so many now shake their heads at how we and our predecessors have made such a mess of the earth’s climate.

But right now, here in the fall of 2011, the evidence is still inconclusive. The American Cancer Society says that while “most studies published so far have not found a link between cell phone use and the development of tumor... these studies have had some important limitations that make them unlikely to end the controversy about whether cell phone use affects cancer risk.”

If you have theories I’d like to hear them – but perhaps best to just email me for now.

Knitting season begins

2011-10-03T22:11:00.002-04:00

Suddenly summer is over. In the last week, the temperature suddenly dropped by 15 degrees and across the city people are scrambling to dig out our mitts, scarves and warm jackets. Here at home, my knitting needles have begun clicking away.

I tend to knit year-round, but I really pick up the pace between the first cold days of fall and Christmas. ‘Tis the season to yarn together a hat that fits my daughter’s ever growing head, or a pair of mittens to warm her hands. Then, as soon as I fill the immediate demands, I turn to Christmas gifts – which I usually am knitting right up till Dec. 25th.

Once Christmas is done I’ll continue to knit for the rest of the winter, but at a less frenzied pace. I’ll finish a sweater, perhaps experiment with new yarns or ideas. As spring approaches I lose the momentum – it seems odd to start a cozy knit project when the snow is melting. And projects that weren’t completed during the winter tend to languish half-completed until the weather turns cool again.

Today I finished up a little hat for Miya – I had planned to make something a little more elaborate, but this sudden shift in the weather had me quickly knit up something that she can wear for these cool mornings. And for some reason she keeps requesting legwarmers, so I have to get cracking on those. She’ll also need mitts.

For our 4-year anniversary, V gave me some beautiful, fine silk yarn. As soon as I’ve finished my immediate projects for Miya, I’ll be eager to get working with that. And then my knitting circle friends and I have come up with some knit graffiti ideas... never enough knitting hours in the day!

For anyone out there who has never tried knitting, I fully encourage you to give it a try. And yes, that includes men. There are plenty of guy knitters out there. Sure, looking at a sweater pattern can be intimidating – but don’t try to start there. Scarves are no-fail for beginners, especially with funky yarns. Then you move on to hats, then mitts, and soon you’ll be lost in wonders of yarn.

Books: Through the Glass

2011-10-02T22:24:00.002-04:00

I have had the privilege of reading an advance copy of Shannon Moroney’s book – Through the Glass. This is a raw, very personal story of violence, betrayal, and the hope for real justice. It is written by a woman who has been devastated, stripped of her identity and livelihood, and stretched to the limits of compassion, love and forgiveness.

Moroney had been married for one month when a police officer knocked on her door to tell her that her husband had been arrested for violent sexual assaults and kidnapping. In that moment, her world came crashing down around her – and this book is the story of her pained, determined journey to hope, healing and recovery.

One of the major hurdles which Moroney faced was that she did not fit neatly into the traditional criminal justice system. As the wife of an offender, she was not seen as a victim (even though she had been a victim of voyeurism which was discovered after the arrest) and so could not access help through victims’ services. Instead she faced the stigma of guilt-by-association – from her community, her employers and even close friends.

Moroney never denies or minimizes the violence, harm and betrayal of her husband’s actions. Yet amazingly she continued to stand by him and support him. The book traces her struggle to come to terms with what he did and with what could have brought him to commit such brutal attacks. But more than this, it is about her own struggle to heal.

As Moroney points out, there are thousands of offenders in Canadian jails – for each of these offenders there are not only victims, but in most cases there are also families – spouses, parents, siblings, children. These people are profoundly impacted by an offender’s actions and the punishment received – and yet their voices and perspectives are almost never heard, especially in the traditional court of law.

I believe her book will be invaluable to families of offenders – as well as to victims, offenders, and many others who work within or are touched by the criminal justice system. It is also a strident call for a more humane justice system and a prioritization of rehabilitation over punishment.

Playing for Change fan club

2011-10-01T22:04:00.003-04:00

Back in February of this year, I was introduced to the music of ‘Playing for Change’ – collaborative music made by musicians from around the world.

Playing for Change seeks to “inspire, connect, and bring peace to the world through music.” Not only do they travel the world recording musicians in India, Brazil, Israel, Russia, Cape Verde, Jamaica, Cuba, etc. – they give back through a nonprofit corporation which builds music and arts schools in communities that are in need of inspiration and hope – communities in impoverished places like Nepal, Mali and South Africa.

The first time I watched a Playing for Change video I was entranced. The video, filmed mostly outdoors in locations around the world, brings together artists and layers their music into a mosaic of harmony and collaboration.

After I watched a few clips on youtube, I bought the album on iTunes. The first one came with 7 videos –songs like ‘Stand by me’ and Bob Marley’s ‘One Love’ and ‘War/No more trouble’.

Their second album was recently released and I’m loving it. This one comes with 10 videos and songs, as well as a short video about the Playing for Change project and foundation.

And it’s not just me who enjoys watching these videos. Miya has become a fan in her own right. She can identify many different instruments (great variety) as well as nationalities of musicians. Sure, I don’t know how meaningful things like nationality is to her at her age, but it’s still pretty cool to watch these with her and talk about people from around the world coming together through music.

Since Miya and I have been enjoying watching and listening to the music, I thought she might like making some of her own. So we took a trip to Ten Thousand Villages and bought two little flutes – one from India and one from Peru, as well as an Indian percussion instrument. Great, noisy fun.

I hope that some day I can take my daughter to some of the places we see in these videos and that we can hear, first hand, the music from around the world. Till then, we’re loving the videos and huge fans of the movement.

Victory for Insite

2011-09-30T21:59:00.002-04:00

Today the Supreme Court of Canada unanimously ruled that Vancouver’s Insite clinic can stay open and that Ottawa has to back off.

In a ruling based on evidence and research showing that Insite saves lives and promotes rehabilitation, the Court declared that Ottawa’s attempt to shut down the site undermined the protection of health and public safety and violated the Charter of Rights.

Insite supporters celebrated the win. “This is the triumph of science over ideology,” said their lead lawyer, Joe Arvay.

Insite opened in September, 2003 as a safe, sanitary, medically-supervised place where addicts can inject drugs. In this downtown Vancouver location, people “inject drugs and connect to health care services – from primary care to treat disease and infection, to addiction counselling and treatment, to housing and community supports.” It is funded by the BC Ministry of Health and is North America’s first legal supervised injection site.

The Court stated that Insite was “launched as an experiment. The experiment has proven successful. Insite has saved lives and improved health. And it did those things without increasing the incidence of drug use and crime in the surrounding area.”

In fact, the B.C. Centre for Excellence in HIV/AIDS reports that since Insite opened, there’s been a 30% increase in the number of addicts who enter detox and the Vancouver Coastal Health Authority says there have been more than a million safe injections at the site with more than 1,400 overdoses but not a single death.

Prime Minister Harper has said that he is disappointed in the ruling, but that Ottawa will comply. This will likely fan the flames of Tory contempt for judicial powers though. It is also unlikely to change the Conservative approach which rejects that addition is an illness best treated by doctors instead of police and prison guards.

I predict that in the years to come the courts will be hearing more cases in which citizens groups challenge tough-on-crime legislation as reducing public safety and violating Charter Rights – especially given that legislation before us now is based on ideology, not evidence.

But today I’m grateful that we have a Supreme Court with the authority and wisdom to protect human rights from political ideology.

Movember

2011-09-29T23:48:00.003-04:00

Believe it or not, I am actually encouraging my husband to grow a mustache. Those who know me may be surprised, knowing that I am not a big fan of facial hair on guys, especially when it comes to a guy I kiss.

On the other hand, you won’t be surprised since growing a mustache would be for a good cause – raising funds and awareness for cancer, especially the number one male cancer - prostate cancer.

The ‘Movember’ campaign began in Australia in 2004 by Adam Garone who encouraged men to “groom, trim and wax their way into the annals of fine mustachery” and raise money, through sponsorship, for men’s health issues, especially cancers affecting men. .

According to the Movember Canada website: “We want everyone to know that most cancers are highly curable if caught in the early stages - including prostate and testicular cancer. Movember aims to increase early detection, diagnosis and effective treatment, as this will ultimately reduce the number of deaths from cancer. It’s time men face the startling health facts.”

In a Globe and Mail interview, Garone describe mustaches as ‘the hairy ribbon’ for prostate cancer – comparing it to the popular pink ribbon for breast cancer. He points out that women have been successful in moving breast cancer into the public arena and thinks men need to similarly break the stigma around prostate cancer and raise its public profile.

On average, 11 Canadian men will die of prostate cancer every day and testicular cancer is the most common cancer in young men in Canada between the ages of 15-29.

Last year, the ‘Mos Bros’ (with support from the women in their lives, the ‘Mos Sistas’), raised $76.8 million (Canadian) globally – which includes $22.3 million from the Canadian campaign.

But besides raising money for research and awareness of these diseases, Movember seems like a good excuse to have fun experimenting with mustaches. The idea is to start clean shaven on Nov 1, let a mustache grow for a week, then start sculpting it into shape. V is talking ‘reverse goatee’, ‘dapper Frenchman’ or ‘stylish porn star’.

So, any guys out there who want to join my husband in some Movember growth?